Hmmmm

Pool is still not got any further which is SERIOUSLY annoying me. It is such awful weather here at the moment. I woke up this morning to another 2 inches of rain in the bottom of it. Yesterday I baled out an inch of water too. I really think I am going to have to lift the tiles and re lay them because the grout is never going to dry at this rate.

I just hope it will be OK. This thing is if the bead on the bottom of the tile is disturbed, then it means the pressure wont be even and they could all end up cracked which would just do my head in. I SO don't want to have to do this again. I am beginning to think that a pool liner might be a very VERY good idea right now. It will certainly save all this stress! It could be done by now!

Anyway, food wise... again no problems with my band. I made myself a 2 egg omelet this morning with tomato, mushrooms and onion and 28g cheese. It was about 11:30 so I didn't bother with lunch at all.

This evening I had mashed potato, 1.5 beef burgers and 2 sausages cooked in the oven so no extra fat.
So calories:
I wont bother counting the tomato, onion and mushroom as that's like next to nothing... but

2 eggs are about 200cals
a helping of mashed potato is 250
1.5 beef burger is 243
2 sausages are 331

I then had a heap of strawberries which again aren't much with some cream 200 cals

so today I have had about 1500 cals if you include all the drops of milk in my coffee and the strawberries and tomato and stuff.

I am not really worried. this is still WAY under the calories of what I used to eat but I really don't think I should be able to eat this much...

I would really like someone who reads this blog and has maybe lost a lot of weight and is really in the zone to tell me the kind of amount they are eating. I don't think that after eating burger, sausage and mash I should still feel like I could a) eat more and b.) be able to follow it with a bowl of strawberries.

I know I am making the choices and I could have chosen to have milk on my strawberries or nothing at all, but I figure normal people would not think twice about it. Before banding I would have eaten a lot more that 1 and a half burgers and 2 sausages. I also didn't have as much potato as I would have, so I know that something is working. Like I said, I could have also chosen to eat a salad and raw veg instead of what we had, but I chose to have this. They were real meat not some cheap and nasty grizzle burgers too. I feel full and content now as well, so I wont be having anything else.

I always fell like I have to justify myself. I make the choices and I am conscious of them, but I wish someone else could make the choices for me. I wish I could tell my cook to prepare me nutritious macrobiotic oojimi-flips but I cant.

So tomorrow we get another delivery of farm foods. I am so glad about that. I have slim fast ready and waiting in the cupboard and also some ready prepared ones too, just in case, and then I have my healthy meal for the evening all ready prepared for me an waiting.

I am really going to go for it, and considering I am also having a fill on Saturday, cant help but think that slim fast will be quite easy compared to pre banding. I am going for it anyway. I thought Dr. Clayson was a bit of a div for saying just go and live a normal life. I don't need anyone telling me that. I need to be told to watch it big style.

Anyway,
about to put some things on eBay and earn some spare cash to pay for my fill at the weekend! HA HA

laterz

Joining the Thin Club

Judith Lederman lost a lot of weight nine years ago and has kept it off. She used to weigh 225 and now weighs 135 pounds.

She has written a book about the psychological aspect of her weight loss. The book is called Joining the Thin Club and it is getting very good reviews.

See her website at The Thin Club.

Weight Loss Journey – 45 Pounds in Less Than 2 Months?

Not Sure which diet is best for you? Check out our Diet Reviews===========================I have a client (Jeff) who is 42 years old and feels he has a weight problem. When he first came to me he complained he had gained extra pounds and found it very difficult to return to his previous weight. First, we looked at his diet. Jeff was consuming about 2000-2300 calories per day. He weighed 220

Spicing Up the Low Calorie Foods

Most people don't realize that many spices have a good amount of vitamins and nutritional goodness. Spices can add wonderful zing to many low-calorie dishes that may otherwise taste bland. Especially if you are trying to cut down on your salt intake, many spices make marvelous substitutes.

Here's a great beginner's guide to the key spices available out there today. So try some bay leaves in your lentil soup, cumin in your chili, sage on your chicken breast and some fresh cilantro in your salad.

Check out the health benefits of cayenne pepper, basil, cinnamon and mustard seeds here.

Strange weigh in...

Well here I am again writing from my NEW PC. Yep. The old one finally died yesterday morning. We have had it fixed twice before and we were basically throwing good money after bad, so thought "stuff it" and drove to PC world and bought the cheapest one in the shop. Its got Vista on it, which is well different to XP. I like it though. Seems OK to me.

went for my weigh in today. I weighed on my scales at home and they said I had lost 2 pounds... 16 stone 4lb (or 228lb) but when I went to the chemist and jumped on their scales they yelled "OUCH GET OFF YOU FAT GIT" and said I was 16stone 8pounds (232lbs).

Hmmm So I have either put on 2 or lost 2... Its definitely 2 though!!

So I don't know if I am happy or not. I think that my scales are correct, as they have been accurately measuring me for ages... but I just can't trust them totally.

Whatever, I have a fill on Saturday, so we shall go from there and I am also taking my Friends advice and doing slimfast for a bit to help me out. I am not going to start until Wednesday though, because that is when we get our meal delivery from Wiltshire farm foods. It will be much easier then.

But until then, I am making a concerted effort to stick to blew 1000 cals again. I think I have been a bit wayward since being home from holiday, especially as we ran out of meals last Monday, and I have *shock horror* had to cook myself! Its never easy late at night when I am tired, and I do tend to think "Oh whatever" and do something easy, rather than nutritious.

So today started badly... ish.

Went to the chemist and was annoyed because it said I had put on 2 pounds and walked straight into the next door newsagents and bought a bag of crisps. I know... comfort eating. I even stood there looking them up and down for a while. then I walked around the corner and looked at the notepads and colouring books and rubbish they have in newsagents, and then I wandered back to the crisp selection. I grabbed one guiltily. I was even thinking whilst I paid for them and DS's sweets that they might think about how fat I am and how could I buy that. I also thought that they were thinking stuff like "I bet her boy turns out just like her" which is so never going to happen. Its like torture. I hate myself. I hate the way my mind works ad puts me down all the time. If I want a packet of crisps I should not feel guilty, but conversely I should not just want a packet of crisps because I feel bad about putting on weight. I mean what is wrong with my brain???? Its like self destruct.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I should have the courage to think "right I am going to cheer myself up by NOT having the crisps and knowing that I have a few less calories than normal" or something.

I have read that people with eating disorders the opposite from me.. (i.e. the eating disorders where people DON'T eat) actually get a pleasure out of denying themselves stuff. I can't help but feel jealous to be honest. I know that's a bit "out there" but I am serious. Why, out of all the eating disorders there could be do I have the one that makes me go to food as a comfort rather that look at food denial as a comfort. I mean if I had to have an eating disorder at all, then I would prefer the latter. I am not being facetious. Of course guess people with anorexia or similar would wish they could eat more and not deny themselves and think the total opposite of me. To be honest I just wish I was frigging NORMAL, but that is obviously not the case.

I want to change my mindset and the way my mind looks at food. HOW DO I DO THAT? How do anorexics stop punishing themselves and looking at food as the enemy. How do I stop looking at food as my soul mate and only comforter? I mean, it doesn't actually HELP me either. I ate that bag of crisps and I didn't feel any better. I know that I will feel crud after eating them, but I still make myself believe that I will feel better if I eat them. God I am screwed up.

I guess none of this makes sense to anyone, but it makes sense to me. I feel like a psycho.

Rant over...

Here's what I have had to eat today... and given that I feel pretty sorry for my self and annoyed and want to eat, I think its pretty good.

1 big eat size bag of walkers crisps 265 cals

1 pitta bread 225 cals

5 cherry tomatoes 15 cals

56g cheese 205 cals

So today I have had 710 cals.

That's not good considering I have to eat tonight.... but I will be getting in late so I could stop and get a ready meal. Yep, that's what I will do.

Pool update...

If it doesn't stop raining I think we will have a disaster on our hands....

Virtual Weight Loss with Photoshop

Here we have an entertaining video clip of extreme and rapid weight loss using Photoshop. If only we all lived in the virtual world and could lose weight like this in a couple of minutes....

Checkups key to success of obesity surgery

From Reuters: By Megan RauscherSeriously overweight people who undergo gastric bypass surgery to shed pounds should try to make as many scheduled post-op doctors appointments as possible, according to a new study. It shows that follow-up care is a key component of the long-term success of the weight-loss surgery.With gastric bypass surgery -- the most common method of "bariatric" surgery --