Do I need a fill...?

Hey! Its paranoid girl here.

I really feel like I have been thrown in at the deep end with this band.

One day I am choking on my tablets, and the next I can eat a Sunday lunch and pudding.

Oh I am so worried. Its wrecking my mental balance completely.

Before I carry on let me tell you today's food:
Breakfast: 100g Quaker granola
Lunch: glass of fruit juice and 100g cashew nuts slice of bread and a small piece of Serrano ham
Snack: Muller corner
Dinner: thick slice roast beef (equivalent to size of 1 chicken breast), 1 tbsp cabbage, 2 tbsp runner beans, 1 half roast potato, 1 roast parsnip, 2 broccoli florets, 1tsp horseradish sauce, bisto, 1/4 of syrup sponge pudding (home made) about the size of a fist with custard.

All in all about 1800 cals today.

Now, I think that last meal was a lot. I was chewing well, and I must admit I was thinking "am I full? What about now?" throughout it, but the answer was not a complete or definite yes.

I know that I would definitely have eaten more this time 5 weeks ago. Maybe it was because I had not had much food throughout the day...?

I am now fretting about the following:
1.) The band is broken and I am going to put on weight
2.) I am going to put on weight
3.) I need a fill and I will stop losing weight until I get one
4.) I am going to put on weight
5.) The band is broken (does anything hurt? any clues?)
6.) Oh no, what if I don't lose weight?
7.) Maybe its not going to work for me
8.) The band is broken and I am back to square one
9.) I am going to put on weight...Do I need a fill?
10.) Will I ever lose weight?

etc etc etc etc

Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone else find they can sometimes eat loads, and other times nothing at all? I mean yesterday I had just the smallest amount of my dinner and I HAD to stop. in know there was no way on this earth that I could have eaten another mouthful. But today... different story.

If this happens a lot then I can handle it. Its just not knowing what to expect that is messing my mind around. Is it truly possible to wake up one day and feel no restriction at all and know you need a fill or does it creep up slowly over a few weeks and you realise that you are not so satisfied at every meal?

I am guessing that what happened to me today was just one of those things and the fact that yesterday I could not eat my dinner at all means that my band is totally cool and I have good restriction. I am sure you cant just wake up the next day and everything is slack. its not possible surely. That why now I am worried again that my band is busted, and I have to talk myself into believing in it this time and trusting that it will go the distance (HELP!). I don't have any pain like I did back in May. I don't have any pain like I did after my fills. I am a bit sore around my port area, but I can bend, stretch, shower, walk, sit and do a lot of things that I couldn't just a few short weeks ago. I really think the soreness is simply down to being plain sore after an operation and a little bit to do with being a bit bloated from my * week.

Ok, I have talked myself out of my worries.

Or have I?

Oh dear...

1st day back to work for real!

Right, I have a bloke booked to come on Tuesday to clean and polish and deodorise my filthy new car and that has made me feel heaps better. He is a valet guy I found in the yellow pages and lives nearby, doesn't cost the earth and will do a sterling job I am sure.

Today's work went fine. I did 7 lessons today, no problems. All went really smoothly and everyone was really pleased I was feeling better, and consoled and commiserated over my spate of bad luck of late. It was nice to see them actually.

Well, I have the dreaded curse again, and with it usually comes pain. Well it did all the while my band was broken. This month I am a little bloated and I can feel pressure on the stomach wall, but its not too dreadful. It kind of feels like my port area has tuned into a plank of wood... sort of immobile and bleugh - but not painful. THANK GOD

I had been dreading it to be honest. They have been so horrid of late that I really was hoping the sudden weightloss and stress would put an end to it for a while. No such luck on that score.

So, today has been pretty hectic. I had a bowl of granola and milk for breakfast at 9:00am and I lasted all day until I got home at 4:30 without any major worries actually. I had intended to have a lunch break, but it didn't work out that way - that's the only trouble with my job... chatting about stuff after lessons eats up my time.

So I got home and hurriedly made 2 slices of toast with baked beans and cheese and a small dollop of coleslaw. I ate it really easily and quickly, and *PARANOIA* struck again.

I tried not to think about it, but just couldn't help myself, and found myself feeling sorry for myself and worrying that the band had gone pop again. A quick snap back to reality from DH saying "Are you in agony like last time? No! Its fine honey" worked sort of OK, but you know what I'm like.

So it was fish and chips from the chippy tonight for tea. I optimistically ordered cod and chips and mushy peas. I ate 1/4 of the fish, 4 chips and a couple of mouthfuls of peas when I felt the stickiness. I just stopped and handed my lovely full plate of food over to DH. I must admit this is the first time I have been sad when I couldn't eat. Not bad I guess.

I had a bottle of wine over the course of the evening and a muller corner.
Today's calories total = 1674.

off to bed now.
night night.

Another day, another choke...

This morning I made a mistake.

I always ALWAYS have coffee in the morning. Its my first instinct when I open my eyes to seek out coffee from the nearest source. I drink a cup practically before drawing breath... so when i DIDN'T do that this morning and decided to take my tablets (Codeine, Prozac, paracetamol and multi vitamins) with ice cold straight from the fridge orange juice a problem ensued.

I know we should all take pills with water, but I don't get it. I have always taken them with coffee. So this morning as I gobbled down my hitherto untroublesome tablets I felt it... the pain and heaviness...

I was burping and gurgling and hiccuping and spitting and having a HORRID time with DH punching my back to help it feel better.. when I puked up one of my pills. It took a while for this to happen, but it was a relief when it did. I had to leave my orange juice for later and sipped at a warm coffee and when I had managed to get the cup down (by 11:30) I decided to try the pills again. This time they went down fine. I threw my 2 slices of cold toast in the veg bin as I just wasn't hungry after all that. Its funny how the chokes make me feel full. I never expected that.

When I had a sort of episode before I had this sorted out, it never made me feel full. I guess its where the lining of the stomach is irritated or something. I am not knocking it at any rate! Its working at LAST thank GOD! I will remember to have a drink of something before I take my tablets in future. I think it helps it not be so tight in there to be honest.

So I made some lunch around 1:30 and it was Pasta and one of them stir in sauce things. went down ok and filled me up. I also have had 5 German lebkuchen. I don't know how much they are calorie wise... but I have put 60 each. I haven't a clue though to be honest. They were home baked by our new lodger Carina's Mum. They are scrummy. She is a really sweet girl too which is nice.

So today's food:
75 grams of pasta (dry weight) and 1/3rd of a pot of dolmio sauce
5 biscuits.

That's the lot so far, and I am not hungry yet either.

TB is making a paella for us tonight. We are due over there at about 6:30 so looking forward to that. S (TB's daughter and my adopted sister) is going back to Russia tomorrow so we are all going to be sad later :o(

Especially DS. He loves her to death. Hopefully with the arrival of Carina, he will have his mind taken off of it for a little while. We are going to Moscow in 3 weeks now anyway, so we can always use that line I guess!

So dinner tonight is going to be paella. I don't know how much I will consume, but its pretty stodgy so I guess not much. We shall see.

The Easiest Way to a Flat Stomach?

What's the easiest way to a flat tummy? One reader wanted to know this and so she paid $20 for an expert on Google Answers to find the answer for her. She specifically asked if sit-ups would be the fastest way to trim her waistline. She got a pretty detailed answer and if she followed the instructions, she probably has a flatter stomach now.

Here's an excerpt from the detailed answer;

What sit ups does do is tone your abdominal muscles. However, it does not "target" the fat in your tummy any more than any other form of aerobic exercise. In fact, if you only do situps as your aerobic exercise, what will happen is that you will build up abdominal muscles in your abs, but it would be still covered in the same layers of fat as before.

"The first place we usually lose fat is on our face (so our mothers can tell us we look too thin). Unfortunately, it is not possible to direct our bodies to burn fat from a particular area."
"Take sit-ups for example. It is important to keep your stomach (and back) muscles in shape, and firm abs can even help to hold in your stomach. But to reduce the size of your mid-section, you would do just as well to perform any exercise that you enjoy."
Source: http://www.eatwellandexercise.com/faqs_spot.html



Check out the easiest way to a flat stomach here.

Google Answers was a great service, but unfortunately it has closed down for now.

Another day on my journey

Breakfast: 100g granola with apple and blackberries, and skimmed milk
Lunch: 85g of boiled pasta (this is half of a standard portion), passata and 5g of Parmesan
Dinner: 2 potato croquettes, 1/4 cheese and onion quiche and green beans.

1200 cals.

It is a heavy day because of the Granola which was over 350 cals on its own. I needed it though as I have done a spring clean (not sure if its late, or early...?) on the house. I even washed the shower curtain!

Today I did ALL the washing (6 loads) and all the drying and my whole house smells like lenor. I am currently on the last load, which is just a massive quilt... I cant seem to get it dry so I am going to drape it over some chairs next to the radiator in the hope that it will.

I have done so much housework today, I actually got up a sweat. I don't think I have ever had sweat dripping off me before. I really felt the need to CLEAN and be CLEANSED.

Everything is lovely, every room and it took me all day long. *blows fringe out of eyes*

My port area feels pretty fine considering. Its quite sore actually from where I had the crash (seat belt injury I think) but other than that its fine. I know everything's still connected which is my main worry! I didn't have a choke today, but I was really hungry at about 4 when I realised I had missed my lunch, so I started to eat my pasta too quickly, and I felt it. I let it rest and then I could finish my meal. As it was I only ate half of the plate. Cool.

I have noticed I am better having a big breakfast rather than a big dinner. This may seem obvious, but one doesn't get this size without having a few rogue eating problems, and one of mine was definitely eating late. It still is to be honest, but I don't have a lot of choice in that respect, but I DO have a choice of what I eat at this time. I am finding that in the evening I am not actually that hungry. I eat my dinner, don't get me wrong, but I am not starving like I use to be. Things seem to have turned around... I am hungry in the morning (never used to be) so I seem to be having granola or porridge and stuff quite a bit more than I ever used to.

Today's excitement?

We have our lodger arriving tonight. YAY. Money!
She is arriving at the airport and we are picking her up and she will be with us till the beginning of March. She is coming to do a course for 3 months as shes only 18 and her Mum and Dad thought she would be better renting a room with a family rather than be on her own. Seems like a nice girl. We shall see!

Other than that, I found out my new car is classed as a disabled car for taxation, so I have to trek all the way to a DVLA office to change the taxation class on it before I can get my tax. Why is NOTHING in my life just easy?

Another little loose snagged thread in the tapestry of my life is that I found out today I cannot drive other peoples cars under my insurance policy. Every other policy I have EVER had I have been able to do this. But no, apparently not. So this means I cannot use my friend's car that she so kindly said I could borrow until mine is taxed etc. It was only brought to my attention today and I have had the policy for 11 months!!! So I am as immobile today as I was yesterday, and I might as well not bother taxing the car until next week as then its a new month.

I am trying to think of something cool that happened today to balance it all out, but nothing springs to mind. That's life!

BIGGEST WEIGHTLOSS EVER - 9 POUNDS

This week, yes just this week, I have lost a staggering
9 POUNDS

This is the most weight I have EVER lost in 1 week and I am totally flabbergasted.

I got on the scales this morning and I actually screamed - out loud - when it told me the wonderful blessed news. I got on another 4 or 5 times just to be sure.

So my couple of bad days, actually weren't that bad for me obviously.

However, talking about bad days... What is wrong with my family huh? We are just such a lucky bunch aren't we.

The insurance company phoned me up this morning and told me the news that it was a total loss. Oh goody goody gumdrops. Just what I need. They then told me they would give me £700 for it. *sad pathetic sigh of the royally shat on* and then told me it was subject to my excess which was £520. Well what did I expect...? Miracles? So I am getting £180 back for my lovely car which I paid £2000 for.

I am not bothering with fully com insurance any more. I cant be bothered. What is the point seriously? I would have been better saving £150 a year on my car insurance and putting it in a savings account. I would actually have had more money that way. So I am going 3rd party only on my next nadger. If I bought a new new car it would be worth it, but I only drive a banger. I bought a new car today. £300. Its actually a better car than my old one, but a bit older. Its done less miles and the body work is metallic and in a great condition with no dents. Mine had quite a few bumps and bruises on it as it really was just a run about. But it was MY runabout and I really liked it. You get sort of used to it don't you. So I will just have to adjust to this new one now. Its a nicer colour... that kind of metallic blue green.

So it was with a lightened heart that I answered the call to The Company this evening. They apparently deal with each claim individually, and they apologised for their standard letter and making me think (quote) that they would only pay "1 nights hotel accommodation and travel at 30cents per km". Apparently they deal with each case individually and they are going to take care of everything and it will all be sorted out within a week - 10 days.

SO WHY DIDN'T THEY PUT THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Cheeky scumbags.

If I had gone

"Oh honey, a letter from The Company... It says we only get one
nights hotel and the bus fare... Oh well. That's a shame. Never mind, that's
£150 we get back then. That's nice of them isn't it"

Do you really think they would have sent another letter saying...

" Oh No, you don't understand. My dear people, this means that we
treat every case individually and we will of course refund you £5000 - we really thought it was quite a simple letter. We always say things and mean something else"

Yeah, of course they wouldn't. NO WAY. So some poor wretch might think that's all they are getting, and The Company get to wipe their hands and go

"Phew... that's us off the hook with that one!"

If I had not written back to them, then I wouldn't be getting anything more than £150 for my trouble. So just shows doesn't it.

And he had noticed that I had CC'd the email to 'INFORMER' and 'Bunk Mate' and asked

"So... erm... do you... err... *SQUIRM*... know many people who have had the same kind of...err... difficulties...?"

"Yes mate, as a matter of fact I do!"

*High five*

He was also quite insistent that they really wanted me to be pleased with their product and enjoy my band and that it will definitely give the results I want bla bla. He said, we just want you to be happy and we will take care of everything, and just forget about it all for a couple of days and everything will be fine... "We don't want you to be angry or distressed because of this case... it was just a standard letter" Yeah yeah. Whatever, just GIVE ME MY DAMN MONEY TOUT DE SUITE

Right then, back to business.
Today's calories are 1160

Breakfast: 2 slices toast with jam (mild resistance felt)
Lunch: Smoked salmon and dill sauce
Dinner: 50g chips and approx 325g chicken curry. Couldn't finish plate tonight.

3 glasses of pineapple juice
3 coffees.
2 pints of s/f squash.

Cooooool.

Supremely Fit at Age 48

Tosca Reno is supremely fit at age 48. Tosca's heaviest weight was 204 and this was when she was in the middle of divorce and after having three children. She gained the weight at that time by turning to comfort foods. Today she weighs 75 pounds less.

She initially lost the weight by regular workouts on a treadmill. But her body lacked any muscle definition though she was now very slim. That's when she started weight training.

She has written a book called The Eat-Clean Diet: Fast Fat-Loss that lasts Forever! See her fitness story here.