It doesn't make it all better

After looking at my stats from last year that I posted yesterday, I started pondering why I just gave up and gained 21 pounds. I was near goal, at least the Weight Watcher goal of 155. At 158 pounds I was so close to goal that I could almost feel it. I remember being happy and proud of myself.

So what happened? Why did I just give up? Don't I want to reach goal? It appears that I don't really care anymore, that I gave up giving it my all and I'm just floating along, staying in the 170's, not really giving my weight loss much attention.

A few weeks ago a friend that I walk with on occasion asked me, "Isn't your life a lot better since you lost so much weight?" My immediate response was "No! It's not." Then I told her some things were better, I can breathe easier and my knees don't hurt. I don't get tired as quickly. I have a little more self-confidence. However, overall, I still have the same problems I had at 240 pounds, and I still had those same problems when I was down to 152 last year.

My job is still a job that I don't exactly look forward to each day, but it is a job. My marital problems are still here. My husband still gets grouchy when he's tired and he's tired a lot. I'm still afraid of the same things, becoming one of the morbidly obese and being homeless. I still don't think I'm smart or pretty. In a nutshell, I'm still the same person just in a healthier body.

My friend was shocked that my weight loss didn't solve all my problems. I was only telling her the truth, even though she's trying to lose a hundred pounds and this was disheartening to hear.

Maybe because I know it won't solve all my problems I've made reaching goal not as important to me as it was last year. I still want to reach goal, but for different reasons now. Now that I know it won't fix everything I need to look at in an entirely different light.

I want to lose weight so I can comfortably wear all the size 10 clothes in my closet. I'm back in a size 12. I want to lose weight so I can remain healthy and continue to be active in my old age. I have no intention of moving into an assisted living home in my 80's. I want to travel and not be in a wheelchair.

The reasons for getting to goal are different now. I know it won't make my job more fun or less stressful. I know it won't make my husband happier or my marriage better. I can't control these things, but I can control me. I can control how I handle things, what I put in my mouth, my health.

I think Sheryl said it best in her post last week when she wrote about her struggles at being at goal. The last few paragraphs really hit home for me.

I suspect this is why so many people gain back all their weight and then some more, just like I've done many times in my life. I expected a different outcome when I lost a lot of weight. I expected life to be wonderful and everyone around me to be as happy for me as I was for myself. It just doesn't work that way.

The bottom line is that reaching goal doesn't make it ALL better. It makes some things better, but a lot of things stay the same or only get slightly  better. That's okay, small positive changes in life are still good. I just have to expect less, accept that this isn't really a life-altering event to weight 155 versus 175 or 135 versus 175. My life will still be pretty much the same, just a thinner, healthier version of me.

So it doesn't make it all better, but it's a little better and sometimes, a lot better. That's still a good thing.

An afterthought:  After I posted this I realized some people might think that what I'm saying is that losing weight isn't worth it. That since it doesn't fix everything then why bother? That's not what I meant.

It fixes a lot of things, but basically you'll still come out on the other side the same person with a lot of the same problems. Some things will be better, some will go away, and you might even have an entirely new set of problems. It's still a very good thing to lose weight.

The other thing you might think is that I'm seeking compliments when I say I'm not smart or pretty. I know what I am. I'm average intelligence, average looks. It's okay, I've accepted it. Somehow I thought losing weight would make me better in all areas of my life. Obviously, I was wrong on that account, but again, I've accepted it.

Almond-Lemon Tart

If you don’t have Grand Marnier, you can use orange juice concentrate or orange marmalade instead.

Makes 10 slices

Prep time: 25 minutes

Total time: 1 hour

For the tart

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
  
  


• ½ tsp sea salt
  
  


• ½ tsp plus 1/3 cup evaporated cane juice, divided
  
  


• 2 tbsp cold unsalted butter
  
  


• 2 to 4 tbsp ice water
  
  


• ¼ cup chopped almonds
  
  


• 3 tbsp almond paste
  
  


• ½ tsp fresh lemon juice
  
  


• 2 tbsp lemon zest
  
  


• 2 large eggs
  
  


• 1/3 cup buttermilk
  
  


• ½ tsp pure almond extract
  
  


• ½ tsp pure lemon extract
  
  

For the cherry compote

• ¾ cup pitted unsweetened frozen cherries
  
  


• 3 tbsp water
  
  


• 1 tbsp fresh lime juice
  
  


• 2 tbsp evaporated cane juice
  
  


• 1 tsp cornstarch
  
  


• 1 tsp Grand Marnier
  
  

Preparation:

• Preheat oven to 350 F.
  
  


• In a medium bowl, combine flour, salt, and ½ tsp evaporated cane juice.
  
  


• Incorporate butter using a pastry cutter until it’s pea-size.
  
  


• Add water, 1 tbsp at a time, mixing gently with a fork after each addition. Form dough into a ball and let it rest for 5 minutes; roll into a 12-inch circle and lightly press into a 10-inch tart pan.
  
  


• Purée almonds, almond paste, and remaining 1/3 cup evaporated cane juice in a food processor until nuts are finely ground.
  
  


• Add lemon juice, zest, eggs, buttermilk, and extracts and continue puréeing. Pour mixture into tart shell and bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until set. Cool on a wire rack.
  
  


• In a medium saucepan, combine cherries, water, lime juice, and evaporated cane juice. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.
  
  


• In a small bowl, combine cornstarch and Grand Marnier; stir into cherry mixture. Return to a boil and cook for 1 minute while stirring.
  
  


• Reduce heat to low and simmer for about 4 minutes or until thickened.
  
  


• Remove from heat and allow to cool completely. Top each tart slice with cherry compote immediately before serving.
  
  

Nutrition score per serving ( 1 slice tart, 1 tsp. cherry compote)

135 calories, 6 g fat (40% of calories), 2 g saturated fat, 16 g carbs, 4 g protein, 1 g fiber, 31 mg calcium, 1 mg iron, 67 mg sodium

Thai Chicken Curry

Ingredients:

• 1 tbsp olive oil
  
  


• 1½ sups finely chopped onion
  
  


• 2 tbsp finely chopped fresh ginger
  
  


• 1 tbsp chopped garlic
  
  


• 2 tbsp curry powder
  
  


• 1 tsp ground coriander
  
  


• 1 tsp ground cumin
  
  


• 1 can (14.5 oz) fire-roasted tomatoes
  
  


• 7 oz light coconut mile*
  
  


• 1 cup fat-free chicken or vegetable broth
  
  


• 1 tbsp fish sauce*
  
  


• 1½ cups cooked brown lentils
  
  


• ¼ cup chopped fresh cilantro, without stems
  
  


• 6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (3 oz each)
  
  

Preparation:

• Heat ½ tbsp of the oil in 3-quart saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion and sauté, stirring, until golden, Add curry powder, coriander, and cumin. Stir.
  
  


• Add tomatoes, coconut mile, broth, and fish sauce and bring to a boil. Stir in lentils and cilantro. Keep warm.
  
  


• Preheat charcoal grill. Brush chicken lightly with remaining olive oil and arrange on rack set about 6 inches over glowing coals. Grill 4 minutes on each side, or until just cooked through. (Alternatively, chicken may be grilled in a hot, ridged grill pan over medium-high heat.) Season with salt and black pepper to taste.
  
  


• Place chicken on plates. Top with curry sauce.
  
  


• Note: Light coconut milk has less fat, fewer calories, and a lighter flavor than regular coconut milk. Fish sauce, also called nuoc nam, is a Thai ingredient available in Asian markets, specialty food stores, and some supermarkets.
  
  

Make 6 Servings:

Weight Loss Recipes Amount per Serving: 233 Calories, 23 g Protein, 19 g carbohydrates, 6 g Fiber, 7 g fat, 3 g saturated fat, 46 mg cholesterol, 150 mg sodium

It's in the water

In spite of the Halloween candy incident last weekend and the brownies I made one night this week I still had a good weighin today.

About the brownies, well, I had an argument with my husband, he went to bed mad at me. I felt sad so I made brownies, but...I only ate two and put the rest down the garbage disposal. The funny/sad thing is that I don't even really like brownies. Obviously, I still have a long way to go to overcome my emotional eating.

However, even though I wasn't perfect this week, I did a few things right:

• I ate good, healthy food 90% of the time, in moderate portions.
• I tracked my food four of the seven days.
• I drank a LOT of water thanks to this guy. This really helped.
• I worked out like a maniac seven days in a row.
• I slept eight to nine hours a night. <---this one is amazing for me.

Weight today, November 6:

174.6

Week loss:

-3.6

Total loss:

-64.6

There are eight weeks left in 2010. The holidays. The weeks where people skip their Weight Watcher meeting, and indulge at the parties. 

Check out my stats from last year, around this time:

In four months I gained 21.6 pounds.  I was traveling a lot during that time, but it's been a year. I still haven't lost the weight I gained last fall.

My goals for the remaining eight weeks of 2010:

1. Don't skip Weight Watcher meetings!
2. Track my food seven days a week, aiming for 25 Points/day.
3. Continue with my seven days a week workouts. Thirty minutes cardio, forty minutes strength.
4. Water, tons and tons of water. I haven't caluclated exactly how much I need to be drinking, but currently I'm at 104 ounces of pure water a day (not counting tea, coffee, milk...I don't drink soda).
5. Aim for a 1.5 pound/week loss. Eight weeks, 12 pounds.
6. January 1, 2011 goal weight:  162.6

I still can't believe 2010 is almost over and February 2011 marks three years I've been blogging and following Weight Watchers. Obviously, not perfectly or I'd be at goal. :)



Raspberry-Chocolate Angel Food Cake

This weight loss recipes calls for cocoa powder, which is rich in cancer-fighting polyphenols.

Makes 20 slices

Prep time: 15 minutes

Total time: 2 hours

For the cake

• Cooking spray
  
  


• 1/3 cup coca powder
  
  


• ¾ cup all-purpose flour
  
  


• 1 1/3 cups plus ¼ cup evaporated cane juice, divided
  
  


• ¼ tsp sea salt
  
  


• 12 egg whites
  
  


• 1 tsp cream of tartar
  
  


• ½ tsp pure almond extract
  
  


• ½ tsp pure vanilla extract
  
  


• 4 cups fresh or frozen raspberries, slightly thawed
  
  

For the whipped cream

• 1½ cups heavy cream
  
  


• 1 tbsp evaporated cane juice
  
  


• Seeds scraped from
  
  


• ½ vanilla bean
  
  

Preparation:

• Preheat oven to 325 F. Lightly spray a 9-inch tube or Bundt pan with cooking spray.
  
  In a small bowl, whisk together cocoa powder, flour, 1/3 cup evaporated cane juice, and salt; sift by hand. In a large bowl, beat egg whites and cream of tartar with an electric mixer on medium-low sprrd until frothy.
  
  


• Fold in 1 cup evaporated cane juice, extracts, and the flour mixture. Pour batter into pan.
  
  


• Bake for 40 to 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool; loosen sides and bottom of cake with a knife and turn upside down onto a plate to remove from pan.
  
  


• About 15 minutes before serving, combine raspberries and remaining ¼ cup evaporated cane juice in a medium bowl and set aside.
  
  


• In a small bowl, whisk together heavy cream, evaporated cane juice, and vanilla seeds. Top each slice of cake with raspberries and whipped cream immediately before serving.
  
  

Nutrition score per serving (1 slice cake, 1 tbsp raspberries, 1 tbsp whipped cream)

145 calories, 4 g fat (25% of calories), 2 g saturated fat, 25 g carbs, 3 g protein, 3 g fiber, 18 mg calcium, 1 mg iron, 58 mg sodium

Alsatian Plum Cakes

Eat sweets, stay slim with fewer than 175 calories each, these decadent desserts won’t derail your diet.

We’ve all heard of spa-goers sneaking in candy bars to supplement the carrots-and-cottage-cheese diet some health resorts are known for. But at Canyon Ranch, the focus is on moderation, not deprivation. “You’re more likely to stick to a healthy eating regimen if you incorporate lighter versions of your favorite treats instead of cutting them out entirely,” says Scott Uehlein, corporate chef at the Canyon Ranch retreats. “The secret is using ingredients that pack a big flavor punch—like orange liqueur, cocoa powder, and buttermilk—so you just need a little bit.” Try these weight loss recipes and enjoy every bite, guilt-free.

These individual marzipan-like cakes make portion control painless.

Makes 6 cakes

Prep time: 20 minutes

Total time: 1 hour

Ingredients:

• Cooking spray
  
  


• 2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
  
  


• ¼ cup almond paste
  
  


• 2 tbsp nonfat sour cream
  
  


• 1 large egg
  
  


• 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
  
  


• ¼ cup all-purpose flour
  
  


• 4 tbsp evaporated cane juice
  
  


• 3 plums, halved and pitted
  
  


• 2 tbsp firmly packed brown sugar
  
  

Preparation:

• Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly spray 64-ounce ramekins with cooking spray.
  
  


• In a medium bowl, mix together butter, almond paste, and sour cream.
  
  


• Scrape down sides of bowl and stir in flour and evaporated cane juice.
  
  


• Scoop 3 tbsp batter into each ramekin. Place a plum half in center of batter, cut side up, and top with 1 tsp brown sugar.
  
  


• Bake for 30 to 35 minutes or until plum is soft and a toothpick inserted in the cake comes out clean.
  
  

Nutrition score per serving (1 cake)

170 calories, 7 g fat (37% of calories), 3 g saturated fat, 24 g carbs, 3 g protein, 1 g fiber, 31 mg calcium, 1 mg iron, 18 mg sodium

(Tip: You can make plum cakes with apricots or peaches too)

Veggie Lasagna

Ingredients:

• 2 large zucchini (about 1 lb), ends trimmed, thinly sliced lengthwise
  
  


• 3 links (about 4 oz each) lean Italian turkey sausage
  
  


• 1 red bell pepper or roasted red bell pepper, diced
  
  


• 1 cup diced yellow onion
  
  


• 1 tsp minced garlic
  
  


• 1 cup low-fat marinara sauce
  
  


• 2 egg whites
  
  


• 1 container (15 oz) fat-free ricotta cheese
  
  


• 2 tsp Italian seasoning
  
  


• ½ tsp freshly ground black pepper
  
  


• ⅔ cup shredded low-fat mozzarella cheese
  
  


• ¼ cup grated Parmesan cheese
  
  

Preparation:

• Preheat oven to 325 F.
  
  


• Coat 8”*8” baking pan lightly with olive oil cooking spray. Set aside.
  
  


• Arrange zucchini slices in single layer on baking sheet. Spray lightly with olive oil cooking spray. Broil 8 minutes, or until tender and lightly browned. Set aside to cool.
  
  


• Cook sausage in nonstick skillet over medium-high heat 3 minutes, stirring occasionally with wooden spoon to break up. Add bell pepper, onion, and garlic, and cook 4 minutes longer, or until meat is no longer pink. Stir in marinara sauce and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer about 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Sauce will be very thick.
  
  


• Combine egg whites, ricotta, Italian seasoning, and black pepper in mixing bowl. Stir.
  
  


• Spread half of the meat sauce in bottom of prepared baking pan. Layer on half of the zucchini slices, followed by half of the ricotta mixture and half of the mozzarella cheese. Repeat with remaining meat sauce, zucchini slices, ricotta mixture, and mozzarella. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Bake about 40 minutes, or until bubbly and lightly browned. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.
  
  

Make 8 Servings:

Weight Loss Recipes Amount per Serving: 210 Calories, 18 g Protein, 17 g carbohydrates, 3 g Fiber, 7 g fat, 2 g saturated fat, 45 mg cholesterol, 340 mg sodium