Monday blues...

Hello everyone.
The fill on Saturday with the new doctor went really well. I HATED the drive though. It was terrible, plus some horrible white van man drove into the side of DH's car and then drive off! Thank goodness I had borrowed his car and not mine, cos at least them his company pays for it!

Anyway, It was definitely different with Dr. Dovey. He was really nice and I felt completely at ease. He suggested that I eat only 1000 cals and do exercise daily an I will definitely lose weight.

I suggested that I had tried that before the band and it didn't work... was this just some kind of placebo thing... you know... pay out a shed load of money and we will 'think' ourselves thin... but apparently not. He convinced me that 1000 cals pre-band was unattainable due to the constant hunger, but 1000 cals is completely attainable post banding because of the early satiety and longer feeling of fullness.

I gave me 1 and a half mls and that takes me to 7.7 mls in my band. But he also said that its possible to have had evaporation from the band, and it might not be that much really... ? !
I just don't know what to think. Its all seemingly hypocritical. One says one thing, another says another, neither agree, or disagree.

But he made much more sense that anyone else so I am gonna go with it and see what happens.

Also, when I was eating baby food I was full, and losing weight. I didn't mind eating baby food at all... so I am gonna eat it for breakfast a bit more.

I shall update this later...

Losing 80 Pounds in 10 Months

Josh, age 33, battled with his weight for many years but last year he decided to get very serious about weight loss after his cholesterol levels reached record numbers and his deteriorating health became life-threatening.

In just over ten months he has succeeded in losing 80 pounds. (That's him on the right in the 'before' photo above.)

He did not use magical pills, go on fad diets or enlist the help of a personal trainer. Instead he lost the weight naturally and on his own.

See his very inspirational weight loss story and more before and after photos here.

Day 3 on the Slimfast plan.... g r o a n

Oh man. I think I want to slit my wrists. The lack of food is driving me crazy... I am thinking about it all the time. I would gladly sit around anyones tongue whilst they eat let me tell you!

Its probably only a phase, and I am going to battle through it, but BOY do I love my evening meal. My band mate 'M' has been doing it for 3 weeks. I will be seeing her tomorrow and hopefully her bintness will spur me onwards to MORE slimfast days. At present , I am having trouble though.

Day one was ok. Day two was ok-ish. Today? Terrible. I have had my 2 slimfasts and a peach. I am starving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe I should have another one? Its making my guts bubble and boil though... I am a bit worried about going to work and having an accident to be honest! But I shall brave it. I will have to be on fluids of a few days as of tomorrow anyway, so its not worth stopping is it. Maybe after the 4th or 5th day I will get used to it.

*Update*

Well I got home from work RAVENOUS.

I had my tea - chicken casserole and potato croquettes (313 cals - bargain!!)

....but then I was a very naughty girl... sorry.

I had 3 puddings.

2 x semolina with dutch apple - 189 cals each = 378cals

and 1 x apple pie and custard - 289 cals.

So I have had 2 slimfasts at roughly 220 each, and the rest.

This takes my daily total for food to a whopping 1500 cals (if you include milk too)

Oh I wish my shame ended there...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I then consumed half a bottle of red.

So I guess I am at the 2000 cal mark... I don't know, maybe even more... hic!

Anyway, its FILL TIME tomorrow... BRING IT ON!

Going From Size 14 to Size 8 in Five Weeks

Jimmy Moore has the most successful personal weight loss blog online. He's lost a ton of weight on the Atkins diet.

But now his wife has also decided it was time to lose weight. Christine started a low-carb diet five weeks ago. She's seen remarkable results without trying very hard. Her dress size has gone from 14 to 8 and she has lost 13 pounds.

This is a photo of Christine from five weeks ago when she first started the diet. Check out her success story here.

Slimfast Day 2

Hello everyone! I have just got up after a SERIOUS lay in. Its 2:30pm HA HA.
Before you wonder what kind of lazy troll I am, let me explain. I am having the weirdest pains in my guts at the moment. Its coming up to that lovely time of the month again, and I do seem to get a really B A D pain about 3 inches below my port every month. This month, just to add to the fun and games, I also have a bad stabbing pain on the right side.

Now, I was sterilized when I was 22. Since then, I have always has period pains... But since banding its been pretty damn awful! It must be from all the muscles being chopped about or something.

This is the first time I have had gut rot on the right hand side as well as the left though. So I reckon my little eggs have grown football boots and are now trying to force their way through those clips on a mission to make me fat again... mind you I lost 3 stone when I was pregnant with DS... Hmmm now theres a thought! :o)

Anyway, these pains are like blinding agony. I can't see straight its that bad. The only thing I can do is stay in bed. I never suffered from PMT as a teenager or anything, so this is really weird to be experiencing it as a 30 year old. I do feel like I need my mum and a hot water bottle *sigh*

I am also aware that this is extremely weak of me, but I just cannot get over it. Its truly horrible.

So I was not being a lazy piece of trash lounging in my pit eating chocolates or anything. I was trying very hard to sleep. In the afternoon its better.

So here I am... drinking my first coffee of the day (AHHHHHhhhhhh) and having my slim fast.

I wasn't particularly hungry, and I should have had 2 milkshakes already... but I have one in hand. That will be nice for later on I guess.

*Update*

Ok so nothing much happened the rest of the day, Slimfast day 2 has now finished.

Diet today consisted of:
1 banana slimfast - 218 cals
2 Cumberland sausages, swede, peas and mashed potato with gravy - 513 cals
1 apricot pudding - 69 cals
2 activia yoghurt's - 226 cals
1 apple 60
1 peach 37

total: 1200 (including splashes of skimmed milk)

So we are on a roll friends!

I am also going to make use of the hour I sit and watch Big Brother therefore not eating, and doing something more positive, and I am going to use my treadmill again.

I am not feeling more positive about this, but I am trying to MAKE myself more positive. I think if I hop on those scales next Wednesday and I have lost a couple of pounds, it will make all the difference to how I feel about things right now. I was sabotaging my weight loss I am sure. I should really have looked at the fact that I haven't gained any weight at all! That's what I should focus on.

I must say, I am not feeling full though. I feel like I could have a complete meal right now to be honest. I don't think i should feel like that really. Hopefully this next fill will do the job and help sort that out.

right, off to beddy-bies.
night night.

2nd Post of the day (updated)

As you know, today started off in *shame* but after getting rid of my angst on here it got better.

Tesco arrived with my slimfast shakes and I had my first one. I have also had one for my lunch, so I am going great guns. I haven't had any fruit for snacks yet because I am not hungry, but I will take a couple of pieces to work with me this afternoon just in case. I don't want to end up having to buy something!!

Wiltshire farm foods have delivered out meals for the next fortnight so its all going to plan!

This thing that isn't going to plan is the ruddy pool!

I have decided that a liner is the way to go. I just cannot see the tiles working. It is SO wet out there. I will have to scrape all the tiles off and all the grout, order 3 more tubs of adhesive, order a few more tiles as where I have tried to walk on the dry ones, they have cracked.

The bead you make in the adhesive has been totally destroyed by the rain, so its just not going to hold. All the pressure on the tile face is totally uneven and they will crack as soon as we start to fill it.

I am gutted. All that work.

Anyway, I will not be thwarted! I have ordered a completely white liner that's really thick, and clicks into a rail all around the pool and is purpose built so will be exactly the Right fit.
I wont have to worry about it leaking, or cracking etc. I can just get on with enjoying it.

It will also give the same lovely white effect so that it looks all bright and gorgeous.

So there we go. It was not expensive, so I might as well use the money I would have to have spent sorting out the tile problem on the liner.

UPDATE

The liner is now off. Yes yes yes, I know. I have ordered BIG heavy thick floor tiles in blue marble colour. I am gonna seriously grout them in and I flaming well dare them to not fix!

so we shall see how that goes. I am NOT tiling until the weather is nicer though. Its not worth it.

I am having chronic pain again, like when I got taken into hospital, but its in a different place. This time its the other side of me that's killing! I cant help but think that it was a month ago that all this was going on... coincidence? We shall see. It feels like I am giving birth to a pea through my urethra, but its sort of stuck half way and never gets further. That's exactly what its like, but with side pain added in.

Food wise:
1 x Slim fast shake 215cals
1 x Tesco version of slim fast shake 225cals
1 x Quorn and sweet potato curry 615cals.
2 x apples

There we are.
Not bad huh!

-:*:- -:*:- -:*:-

Just a quickie... THANK YOU TINA for your wonderful comment. I am really glad its helped you make up your mind, and I'll keep blogging don't worry! I hope to read yours one day too!

Anyway, a quick update from yesterday...

I am so strange. I had a binge. It got to 11pm when DH and DS got home from fishing and we put him to bed exhausted. He caught a massive tench, which was great. 4lb! For a little boy that's a whopper!

Anyway, I sat down to watch Big Brother which I ADORE and I thought "I am going to have something to nibble". I should have grabbed a slim fast shake from the fridge... but this is me.

I decided to get some heart and soul warming olive oil and pitta and a glass of red. I coerced my mind into believing that this is kind of the last supper before I go for it on slim fast.

What am I... a flaming SQUIRREL??? Its not as if I am going into hibernation! Anyway, it would all have been totally cool had I just had one pitta, one glass of wine and one helping of Olive oil.

But this is 'last supper' mode talking. I am cringing as I write this and tell you all, but I took the bottle of wine in, the bottle of olive oil in , the bottle of balsamic in, the PACKET of pitta's in and the salt and pepper.

DH sat there on the sofa and said nothing. I wish he had. I would have been really angry at him for saying something, because its like someone catching you out. In fact its like the real physical incarnation of the other voice in your head which says "Mmm... do you really think you should be doing this?". I am always real quick to stamp up and down on that little voice of reason when it comes to food, so poor DH would have been stamped on too.... even though I know in the deepest part of my heart that I did not need all that stuff.

Oh God. I feel sick thinking about it.

I watched Big Bro, and by the time it was finished I had eaten 3 pitta's soaked in Oil and balsamic and 3/4 bottle of red.

I am ashamed of myself.

But still in the back of my mind the voices (jeeezz! maybe I am going mad!! HA HA) say "well you obviously need a fill as you ate all that..." and make me start to try and justify it all.

I want to know if normal people think like this, and if their little voice of reason is a tiny, shrew like slip of a voice who looks like it is dying and is battered and bruised; Or if their voice of reason is a burly bouncer guy who just throws the tempting voice from the club!

But maybe, in normal people they are equal. Just like average Jo and average Jane. Maybe they have little debates with each other rather than getting physical.

Maybe fatties like me have 'shrew girl voice of reason' and the 'incredible hulk tempter', and people who are too skinny have 'Bouncer guy voice of reason'. Normal people probably have Joe and Jane.

Good grief I sound like a basket case... Its just the only way I can sort this through.

I'm off to check myself into the local nut house.