I AM LIVID
I don't know if I can tell you all the details or not, but lets just say its about the compensation claim for my SHAGGED UP BAND.
I received a 'standard letter' as an attachment to an email (!?!? CAN YOU CREDIT IT?!?!?) from the General manager of The Company. The contents were an insult to my intelligence and existence as a human being.
They will wish they hadn't messed with this fat girl.
Friday, November 23, 2007
OK, I am a blithering idiot
Geee, why do us mortals stress out so much.
I was feeling so crap I cancelled work (thanks for the message Tina, and yes I do know what you mean about felling better after I have gone, but I just couldn't face it today).
Then I went to bed with a bowl of noodles.
Then I had to get up and go and be sick in the bathroom because they got stuck! Not a bad one this time, but I just didn't chew it properly.
So the band IS working. I know I am a stupid fusser but I am so stressed out and worried that after all the problems I have had something is BOUND to go wrong again. Why? Because of the law of Sod.
But, it would seem that I do still have everything intact, connected, joined or whatever. I guess its just gonna be a little bit like this for me for now. I am scared that it will come apart again to be honest, and I don't know what I would do if I had to go through that again and all that pain.
So today's food has been 1 banana and a bowl of noodles. The choke was really small so I continued with the noodles and chewed properly and slowly ate and everything is fine.
Maybe, shock horror, I have managed to learn how to eat properly with this band and am starting to master the texture the food has to be before you swallow it. If that's the case I am actually quite pleased with myself. I think today's lesson with the noodles proves that.
So I am not feeling quite so rubbish. I have started taking vitamins again as I had not bothered doing that for ages, but I am not really taking much food on board now, so I think I should supplement it some how. I am also finding that I am looking about for food to eat. Fruit is good, but I cant seem to do apples that well. It just takes too damn long to chew them up, and I certainly cant be bothered to peel the things. That's just too much faffing to be doing with.
So I think weetabix are going to become my hole filler. I have decided that I am going to go and see the new fill guy Dr. De Bryune on 15th January whether I need a fill or not. Just simply to get a check up and see if he is going to actually give a fig. I am paranoid that I wont find anyone who gives a damn. I am putting my life in their hands at the end of the day, and I think I have been too trusting simply because they have a D and an R at the beginning of their name. They are human at the end of the day. So I need to know that they are on the ball, interested and going to be interested in ME as a person too.
So crisis avoided. Sleep and noodles works wonders.
Today's food:
Banana
packet of Noodles
Chicken korma and pilau rice (tesco)
total cals = 1150 (most of that was the korma good grief!)
Yesterdays food was quite a lot = 1226 (after taking off cals burnt in exercise)
cheese and pickle sandwich
kitkat (4 fingers)
3 nagiri sushi
1/4 plate Japanese fried noodles
prawn dansak
rice (half carton)
bottle of wine
I think this is a lot considering the amount of food I have eaten recently, but there we go. Looking at it like this it doesn't seem very much actually!! The bottle of wine was the killer. I just needed a drink after travelling to London and back on the train. *shudders* It was good to be with my sister and DS though. Shame we didn't accomplish anything more than sore feet and blisters, the knowledge that DS would rather chew his own arm off than eat sushi and that the Russian consulate is dumb.
I thought it was hysterical to flag down a taxi outside the Russian Consulate and ask them to take us to the nearest sushi bar though!! HA HA HA HA
I was feeling so crap I cancelled work (thanks for the message Tina, and yes I do know what you mean about felling better after I have gone, but I just couldn't face it today).
Then I went to bed with a bowl of noodles.
Then I had to get up and go and be sick in the bathroom because they got stuck! Not a bad one this time, but I just didn't chew it properly.
So the band IS working. I know I am a stupid fusser but I am so stressed out and worried that after all the problems I have had something is BOUND to go wrong again. Why? Because of the law of Sod.
But, it would seem that I do still have everything intact, connected, joined or whatever. I guess its just gonna be a little bit like this for me for now. I am scared that it will come apart again to be honest, and I don't know what I would do if I had to go through that again and all that pain.
So today's food has been 1 banana and a bowl of noodles. The choke was really small so I continued with the noodles and chewed properly and slowly ate and everything is fine.
Maybe, shock horror, I have managed to learn how to eat properly with this band and am starting to master the texture the food has to be before you swallow it. If that's the case I am actually quite pleased with myself. I think today's lesson with the noodles proves that.
So I am not feeling quite so rubbish. I have started taking vitamins again as I had not bothered doing that for ages, but I am not really taking much food on board now, so I think I should supplement it some how. I am also finding that I am looking about for food to eat. Fruit is good, but I cant seem to do apples that well. It just takes too damn long to chew them up, and I certainly cant be bothered to peel the things. That's just too much faffing to be doing with.
So I think weetabix are going to become my hole filler. I have decided that I am going to go and see the new fill guy Dr. De Bryune on 15th January whether I need a fill or not. Just simply to get a check up and see if he is going to actually give a fig. I am paranoid that I wont find anyone who gives a damn. I am putting my life in their hands at the end of the day, and I think I have been too trusting simply because they have a D and an R at the beginning of their name. They are human at the end of the day. So I need to know that they are on the ball, interested and going to be interested in ME as a person too.
So crisis avoided. Sleep and noodles works wonders.
Today's food:
Banana
packet of Noodles
Chicken korma and pilau rice (tesco)
total cals = 1150 (most of that was the korma good grief!)
Yesterdays food was quite a lot = 1226 (after taking off cals burnt in exercise)
cheese and pickle sandwich
kitkat (4 fingers)
3 nagiri sushi
1/4 plate Japanese fried noodles
prawn dansak
rice (half carton)
bottle of wine
I think this is a lot considering the amount of food I have eaten recently, but there we go. Looking at it like this it doesn't seem very much actually!! The bottle of wine was the killer. I just needed a drink after travelling to London and back on the train. *shudders* It was good to be with my sister and DS though. Shame we didn't accomplish anything more than sore feet and blisters, the knowledge that DS would rather chew his own arm off than eat sushi and that the Russian consulate is dumb.
I thought it was hysterical to flag down a taxi outside the Russian Consulate and ask them to take us to the nearest sushi bar though!! HA HA HA HA
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Getting all gittery about the band
I am in a really bad place at the moment.
I am getting very worried about the band/port etc.
I know I am probably being ridiculous and there is nothing to worry about but I simply can't help it.
Its most probably because of all the problem I have had, but I am terrified that its not going to work anymore.
Whenever I eat a meal I am now waiting to feel if there is restriction - well really I am waiting to see if I feel that hard pressure and warning sign of a choke. I also know that I should NOT eat to that level each time I have a meal as I can stretch the pouch. But by now I am worried I dont have a pouch anymore because of all the problems I have had anyway. GRRRRRRRR
If I don't feel that sign, then I think that it must not be working. I am really getting messed up by it.
The other day (Wednesday) was the last time I felt something a little sticky in the band. It was when I was eating Pea soup and a little bit of bread. It was the bread that stuck a little, but it soon passed and I felt able to continue.
Since then I have had no problems. Now here's the problem:
Should I think that this means its gone wrong and I have no restriction (which obviously is crazy)or should I feel like this and be happy that I am obviously conforming to the 'rules' and chewing well and thereby saving myself from problems.
I am guessing its the latter, but I still feel like there is something wrong.
I read everywhere that puking, choking and p'bing is not usual and should be avoided and it will stop once you get used to the band and the way it behaves for you. So does this mean I have actually learned something? Does it mean I am doing it right?
I don't have pain like I had when it all broke apart, that's for sure. Everything seems like it did when I fist had it done.
I am just finding myself WANTING to choke just to confirm that I am still restricted.
Does anyone else struggle like this? I am really beating myself up for no good reason, but its making me so depressed. I just want to get into bed and stay there and let the world carry on around me and forget I exist.
I know there are lots of things to deal with emotionally when you have a band, and when your food is restricted, but is this whats happening to me? If I knew it would mean I could tell myself that in a few weeks I will be OK.
I just feel completely minging.
I also want some serious advice and I would like everyone who reads this blog to give their opinion by posting a comment PLEASE.
I am about to cancel my piano pupils for the 3rd week running. They are all aware that I had surgery, and they are all sympathetic people as far as I can tell. What I mean is that they aren't people who get stressed out too much if I cancel the odd lesson.
However, would you get annoyed with a teacher who canceled 3 times in a row, or would you just hope she was getting better soon?
Basically I am self employed and fearful that I will lose my pupils (whether its rational or not). I have been teaching some of them for over 4 years, and others only a couple of weeks. I just want the joe public's response and not one that is clouded by what I think they might think...
Your advice would be appreciated.
I am getting very worried about the band/port etc.
I know I am probably being ridiculous and there is nothing to worry about but I simply can't help it.
Its most probably because of all the problem I have had, but I am terrified that its not going to work anymore.
Whenever I eat a meal I am now waiting to feel if there is restriction - well really I am waiting to see if I feel that hard pressure and warning sign of a choke. I also know that I should NOT eat to that level each time I have a meal as I can stretch the pouch. But by now I am worried I dont have a pouch anymore because of all the problems I have had anyway. GRRRRRRRR
If I don't feel that sign, then I think that it must not be working. I am really getting messed up by it.
The other day (Wednesday) was the last time I felt something a little sticky in the band. It was when I was eating Pea soup and a little bit of bread. It was the bread that stuck a little, but it soon passed and I felt able to continue.
Since then I have had no problems. Now here's the problem:
Should I think that this means its gone wrong and I have no restriction (which obviously is crazy)or should I feel like this and be happy that I am obviously conforming to the 'rules' and chewing well and thereby saving myself from problems.
I am guessing its the latter, but I still feel like there is something wrong.
I read everywhere that puking, choking and p'bing is not usual and should be avoided and it will stop once you get used to the band and the way it behaves for you. So does this mean I have actually learned something? Does it mean I am doing it right?
I don't have pain like I had when it all broke apart, that's for sure. Everything seems like it did when I fist had it done.
I am just finding myself WANTING to choke just to confirm that I am still restricted.
Does anyone else struggle like this? I am really beating myself up for no good reason, but its making me so depressed. I just want to get into bed and stay there and let the world carry on around me and forget I exist.
I know there are lots of things to deal with emotionally when you have a band, and when your food is restricted, but is this whats happening to me? If I knew it would mean I could tell myself that in a few weeks I will be OK.
I just feel completely minging.
I also want some serious advice and I would like everyone who reads this blog to give their opinion by posting a comment PLEASE.
I am about to cancel my piano pupils for the 3rd week running. They are all aware that I had surgery, and they are all sympathetic people as far as I can tell. What I mean is that they aren't people who get stressed out too much if I cancel the odd lesson.
However, would you get annoyed with a teacher who canceled 3 times in a row, or would you just hope she was getting better soon?
Basically I am self employed and fearful that I will lose my pupils (whether its rational or not). I have been teaching some of them for over 4 years, and others only a couple of weeks. I just want the joe public's response and not one that is clouded by what I think they might think...
Your advice would be appreciated.
Cathi Lee on Oprah Soon
Thursday, November 22, 2007
From Morbid Obesity to Radiant Health
John has experienced massive weight loss success. He used to weigh over 400 pounds and has lost over half of this weight. Last year, in just 12 months, he lost the biggest portion of his excess weight, 150 pounds lost in one year.He lost this weight mainly by avoiding wheat, dairy and sugar.
See more terrific before and after photos as well as his story here.
Fiona Falkiner Does Triathlons
The beautiful Fiona Falkiner has succeeded in losing a lot of weight. Again. She first lost a lot of weight on the Biggest Loser TV program in Australia, but soon gained it all back again, and now has lost weight again and completed her first triathlon.
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