Extra protein with your Mussels...

I was amazed at the amount of tiny crabs I had in my mussels when we were in France. Apparently the mussels eat the little crabs and this is the time of year for them to do such things... makes them a bit crunchy though. I couldn't be bothered to keep checking them, so I just gobbled them down.

Anyway, back to fills... Had a an answer to my distress email from my Bunk Mate from Brugge this morning. She is so adorable and I love her to bits. I am so pissed of with this weight thing though. Any of you who think I am rash then don't worry. I am going to London tomorrow to see the weightloss surgery group www.wlsgroup.co.uk for aftercare and to see how they are. I don't actually know if they will give me a fill tomorrow without seeing my x-rays but if they offer me one I am going to take it. Then I will see how I feel. Obviously it depends on what she gives me. If she gives me 2ml (doubtful) then sure I wont have another fill for ages. If she gives me less that 1 ml, then I am totally getting another one on Thursday from the other doctor. But don't worry I wont do anything rash. Yesterday I was just wound up.

My reasoning is this - supposedly most people having significant restriction and it really working for them are at about 7mls give or take. If that's the case, then I am going to need more fills. I cant keep living like this and I need to get my life on track yesterday. So as the aftercare from www.wlsgroup.co.uk is just that - an aftercare PACKAGE - I can get unfilled at any time and have access to a 24 hour bariatric nurse in an emergency. I am not going to be all out in the dark on my own like I was last year.

I am going to be sensible, but I physically cant take not losing weight any more.

Today's food:

Breakfast: Nothing

Lunch: beans on toast

Snack: muller corner

Dinner: chicken breast stuffed with fresh lemon and onion and wrapped in thin pastry (60g) served with broccoli and carrots and a cardamom sauce.

All heavily counted and verified and total calories today were 973.

You see, I really am sticking to plan so its not just a case of eating less calories anymore. I am totally doing the right things.

Today has been manic. I hate it when I have loads of piano lessons all over the place. I was in and out of home like the proverbial fiddlers elbow today. I had 3 straight off the bat and then 20 minutes to kill before the next one, then 1 hour to kill before the next and then 2 hours before the last one. It really drags the day out. Anyway, its over now and I was able to shift one up closer to another one so next week wont be quite as annoying. I might try and squeeze another couple of lessons in to make it worth my while staying out to be honest. I would rather be working anyway, if I kind of have to remain in teacher mode all day. Its not as if I can relax on those breaks.

So, I am off to watch Shaun of the Dead... again... and see if its still as funny!

A Boot Camp Weight Loss Story

Tim has lost 128 pounds. He lost the first sixty pounds over eight months by starting a regular walking program and then joining a gym. He joined an Operations Boot Camp to help him lose the rest of the weight.

It was just before his 40th birthday that he made the decision to lose weight. It took him less than two years to lose this much weight. For a guy who used to have trouble walking from the parking lot to his office, he's now become a fitness instructor!

Check out his Boot Camp weight loss story here.

Lets get this band to KICK ARSE

Right, I have totally had enough of poncing about.

I have booked a fill on Sunday AND Thursday. I am fucked off with having to ravel to London every 4 weeks and pissing about losing nothing.

I don't care what happens, I just need this bloody thing to start doing it's thing RIGHT NOW.

This weeks food... just to keep you all in the loop...

Today: 749 cals
1 Bowl Borscht - beetroot, celeriac, potato, passata, onion, garlic, dill
4 duchess potatoes
2 tablespoons of baked beans
1/4 small quiche
1 muller fruit corner

Thursday: 819 cals
1 quorn meatball and onions, peas and mashed potato
2 muller fruit corners
2 packets of crisps


Wednesday: 984 cals
Yoghurt (muller with a fruit corner)
Borscht
1 chicken breast, mushroom, cabbage, celeriac, bacon in stock
1/2 bottle red wine

Tuesday: 1697 cals
pot noodle
2 packets crisps
1 portion of lasagne

Monday: 1100 cals
chocolate bar
2 banana's
home made chick pea and prawn curry

Sunday: 714 cals
1 croissant
1 pot of mussels in tarragon (1.5 pts with shells on)
3 very small slices of bread
2 glasses white wine

Saturday: 1379 cals
1 slice brioche
1 tablespoon fois gras (chick liver pate)
tomato
olives
olive oil/balsamic vinegar with 1 slice brioche
1 pot moules marniers
1 ice cream desert with nuts and meringue
1 bottle red wine

That ain't a hell of a lot I don't think.

My mum has said she was surprised at how much I can eat. Well... Ummm... its about 4 times less that it used to be honey! And I am annoyed at people on http://www.lapbandtalk.com/ they talk out of their arses...

They were like..."wheres your protein, its all really high in fat, I don't know what half of these things you ate are" - well we don't know what your dumb ass American food is either, but we just FUCKING WELL LOOK IT UP! Its not hard! Jesus, how hard is it to understand crisps?? I knew that Americans ate 'chips' and the Brits ate 'crisps' when I was an infant school. GET A GRIP YOU INSULAR SHITS.

Also my protein has been
I QUOTE
on or above the recommended daily 45g according to the Daily plate...
and YES! I do use that. Do they think I don't know what the hell I am doing? Of course I do. I just need some damn advise because seemingly the diet above it BOLLOCKS because I am not losing. When you factor in that I don't lie about all day, get off my arse and do things you would expect that I could shift at least a pound right?

All this crap about 60g of protein... its utter drivel. All this stuff about keeping full... to be honest I am not starving at all so why would I possibly need to wind my way through all that?

Also, the fat intake according to the Daily plate has been BELOW the guideline amount every day, except for 8th January. So screw them! They know nothing at all about this - just a bunch of bigoted greedy nosy bastards with more than their tuppence to share and its not worth a light.

What a day.

Those assholes really ticked me off, especially because if I wrote back a post like "Oh, actually you are all... like... WRONG!" they would find something else to diss me with, so screw it.
They know absolutely nothing. What a damn shame. It could have been such a good site if it wasn't for all the goody goody know alls who don't know shit.

I am now over it. *steam rising*

Tomorrow is yet another day, and I promise not to shout at you all again or anything! HA!

Sunday I will stump up about £250 for a fill, but it will be worth it. I cant go on like this its killing me. I KNOW I am doing everything right. yeah yeah yeah, I know I could cut the drink back, and yeah the junk... but OMG everything is so shagging shite that I need something to look forward to! I wish I didn't turn to food for oral satisfaction. Why cant I be addicted to sex or something. Far more fun and at least it burns calories.

Some people have all the luck.

*sigh*

Acai Berry And Weight Loss - Videos

For many centuries, the health benefits of acai berry was unknown outside of the Amazon , but today more and more people are discovering the health enhancing power of this antioxidant-rich berry.

Benefits of Acai Berry -

Acai Berry cleanses and detoxifies the body of infectious toxins and accumulated fats from the body, which leads to weight loss.

Acai Berry increases the metabolism in the body, which helps in burning fat from the body. It is s a natural product available at reasonable cost. It helps in weight loss only if a person is willing to control his diet. None of the product will work if the person is eats carelessly.

Acai Berry is a rich source of protein and dietary fiber which helps in weight loss.

Acai Berry helps in sound sleep.

It has high levels of omega 6 and omega 9 fatty acids which play a role in lowering cholesterol level.

Anti aging - Acai Berry slows down the aging process.

Superfood - It is known as one of the most powerful superfood (a general term used for foods that provide significant nutrition and are believed to fight diseases)

Watch Video - Acai Berry Diet & Benefits

Losing Weight With the Help of Meditation

Many of us are trying very hard to change ourselves and our habits at this time in the New Year. But changing habits with sheer willpower is the hardest thing and we are often beating ourselves up about it when we fail. I found the first couple of sentences from this Zen newsletter very interesting in this regard. It's a different approach entirely;

Zen practice begins with affirming the relationship of the moment rather than trying to improve or change ourselves. Instead of trying to change the self that is relating, the effort is in more fully immersing oneself in relationship.

Read more from this Zen Buddhist newsletter here.

The art print above is by Elvira Amrhein

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??????????

Why do I do it?

I jumped on the scales this morning, after a glass of water and fully clothed and I am 17 stone 10.

This is destroying me.

I really thought that I have had a good week so far, and I know its after liquid and clothes, but for GODS SAKE!

I feel so utterly shit about everything to do with weightloss that I feel like going and smashing things up. I feel fat and ugly and a failure. I have had it. I cant do this any more.

Odd day

I spent all day in bed with a headache. I slept too... So strange because I have been feeling fine recently. At least it wasn't a work day... of course it meant I haven't eat much.

I got up at 5pm and made the dinner. I cooked quorn meatballs in onions with a little water and an oxo and added some dry sherry. Served it up with peas and mash. I managed 1 meatball, my portion of onions and the peas. I had to have a big pause in the middle too because the meatball did not want to be eaten. I thought to be honest that I was all done, but I felt it go through the band and then I was hungry still.. just shows huh.

I have had 2 yoghurts and 2 packets of crisps too, so today is less than 1000cals.

Heard from an old friend on facebook today. Its horrible really. She is still in touch with some of the guys i went to college with and haven't thought about for 13 years... its just real all over again. The faces on some of the pics are just like kicks in the guts. I didn't realise what a horrible place college was for me. These people are nothing to me now, but they shaped the person I am today. They and other like them are the reason I had to get out of the county and move away. I just couldn't face the thought of bumping into them shopping or something. I can remember always being on my guard when i lived there. I am glad she got in touch, but sometimes maybe we all drift apart for a reason.

I realised that others don't experience your life the way you do either. She was quite shocked when I told her about some things. She had no idea that some of the things I was going through was going on at all! We only really see what we want to see, or keep out of it. Its just sheer nosiness into peoples lives that makes us join things like facebook and search for old friends... What other reason could there possibly be? I know I just want to see how they are doing, what they eventually did with their life and if they are married, got kids and see what they look like now. That's it. Once I have found that out, its kind of over for me. I haven't suddenly revived a dead friendship at all... their has always been the initial rush of "oooh ahhh" and then it slips into silence. I think that's sad.

Part of me inside just wants to have been friends with someone and then grow up together in the same community and still know them. Stability of knowing the people you live near. Where I am now I don't know any of my neighbours except for "Hello, nice day" or "could you feed my cats for 2 weeks? Cheers" I do kind of yearn for the older smaller more insular world of days gone by. I wonder why that is. Every year we are given more and more things to 'want' and 'do' and yet there is something deeply unsatisfied in my life. My being wants a home and a large family and with my extended family around me... wants to be close and to know all my cousins and aunts etc intimately and to share good times. Other families pull it off.. why not us?
I want the simple things and to be modest... so why cant I do that? Is it society pressure? Why is it looked as as tragic to have nothing...? Why is it we have to have stuff.

I read somewhere that in 1850 the average person had 75 wants, and 16 of them were considered a necessity. Today we have over 500 wants and 127 of them are considered a necessity. Can we really have changed that much in 150 years.

Deep