Sleep

I have been trying to live on 6 hours of sleep so I have the time needed to do everything I need to do in a day.  It's not working. I find myself incredibly tired around 3pm and there isn't anything I can do about it but wait for the kids to be asleep.

Another thing I notice is that being tired makes it hard to make a good choice.  I find myself not really caring about what I want to eat. It's almost like I resort to a primal instinct. I'm hungry, so I eat. Doesn't matter what it is, or what it will do to me as long as I get full.  If it's there, I'll just grab it, because I'm tired and don't want to think.  Luckily, this week of trying to live on less sleep, the cupboards are a bit bare of snacks, so it's easy to not...snack.  If there were some goodies in here, I can guarantee that they'd be eaten.

Right now I feel as though I am rambling, not making sense.  I probably am, because I'm tired.  This tired-all-day feeling isn't really worth the amount of work I get done by staying up.  I am going to try to convert to early bird-ism next week, and fight my natural night owl. (Late at night, I can often be found doing what this man is doing in the picture)

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Magnesium Deficiency & WLS Patients

One nutrient we often overlook is magnesium. A magnesium deficiency can cause personality change manifest by confusion, apprehensiveness and depression. In the old days they put people in mental institutions because they were so nutty from the deficiency. Acute sensitivity to sound is another indication of deficiency -- read to learn more.

Magnesium Deficiency Causes Personality Change and

Three Red Flag Warnings Leading to Weight Gain After Bariatric Surgery

By Kaye Bailey

Before undergoing bariatric surgery for weight loss it is hard to imagine that we could possibly ever become one of "those people" who gain weight after losing it with the help of surgery. Sadly, at some point most patients who have gastric surgery as their last hope for weight loss eventually regain some weight back. It can happen quickly and without fanfare. Here are three red

It's never too late to start over

Birthday Flowers

This morning I weighed 175 pounds. I've finally decided the only way I'm going to get back to losing weight is to pretend like every day is the very first day I'm on Weight Watchers.

If you've ever done Weight Watchers, you know how exciting and "almost" fun it is at the beginning. You have a set of rules to follow, and you try to follow them exactly. You're rewarded week after week with nice, healthy losses.

Then one day, after, oh, let's say two and half years, you kind of get tired of it all. The weighing and measuring, the tracking, and all the other tedious things that are part of the Weight Watcher plan.

The compliments stop because you've been at the same weight for months, or maybe you've even gained ten or twenty pounds. No one cares or seems to notice that you're still trying to lose weight, but you're struggling. You've lost your momentum.

You've stop measuring your portions, so four ounces of chicken becomes seven or eight ounces. You stop trying to get in five vegetables a day, and take the five to seven vegetables or fruits to mean seven to nine fruits per day (maybe an obligatory vegetable or two). You certainly don't track your Points, because if you're honest, you don't really want to know.

Maybe you stay away from the bad* stuff, the candy and cookies, but you eat too much of the healthy stuff. Your size 12 jeans are now snug and your thighs are starting to take over. In fact, when you look in the mirror all you see are your thighs.

That's where I am right now. So let's just say this is my day one, not day 912 (that's approximate, but it's been about 2 1/2 years since I started).

For today, my day one, I'm tracking my food, staying within my Points, weighing and measuring everything that goes in my mouth, and trying to follow the healthy eight guidelines. Easy peasy, right? I certainly hope so because my critical voice is driving me insane. She won't shut up about my eating, and if I could just smash her into tiny pieces, I'd be happy.

Geneen (WFG) says to quiet The Voice, which I agree with to a point. However, I still think that internal voice serves a purpose. It really does have my best interest at heart, and it helps keep me in check, because Lord knows, someone needs to. However, these days I use a somewhat kinder, gentler voice with myself. I wasn't making any progress with the old voice.

One other thing I have to do this week is face my Weight Watcher leader. She's been sending me cards in the mail, "Where are you?" or "We miss you!" or (and I love this one), "It's never too late to come back!". I haven't been to a meeting since June 5, when I weighed in at 162.8. I've definitely done some damage over the summer.

What it feels like to be the fattest person in the room

Today I went to a spinning class. I've attended spinning classes before but always when I weighed less, 150 to 165. At 175 I usually feel too fat to be walking (or spinning) among the fittest people at the gym. Today I thought to hell with it, I'm going.

I hadn't been to a spinning class in months and the instructor was new to me. She came over and talked to me before class. I could tell she thought I was a novice to spinning, but I'm not. I know how to ride a spin cycle. It's just like riding a bike, anyone can do it and it doesn't take any special talent, just endurance.

Right before the class started I looked around the room, and yes, I was indeed the largest person in the room. I'd guess the average woman was maybe 125 pounds (skinny!), and the average man, maybe 150-160. There were about 20 people and every one of them looked like they had stepped right off the pages of a fitness magazine. Strong, muscular arms, flat abs and of course, great legs.

I was able to keep up without too much pain (okay, a lot of pain!). In 45 minutes I burned 340 calories, and since I had warmed up for five minutes before the class, I'm counting all 45 minutes of the spinning class for 6 APs. I had also done 20 minutes of upper body strength training before the class.

* I'm pretty sure someone is going to comment that there aren't any "bad" foods. I know that's true, sort of. Most people can have these foods in their house without going crazy. My sister is like that, she always keeps ice cream, cookies and candy in her house for her grandchildren. She very rarely eats any of it. She doesn't have a weight problem.

I'm not one of those fortunate people like my sister. I will eat it until it's gone, every cookie, every piece of candy or every bite of the ice cream. It's a sickness I have, similar to an alcoholic, but one I can deal with it. I just can't have those foods in my house. That's why I call it "bad" food.

Brownies and Excuses

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So yesterday we had homemade brownies. (And by homemade, I mean homemade.  No boxed ingredients where you add eggs, oil and whatever, just 100% of OMGoodness) I made the "One last batch" kind of brownies. You know that batch, the one you are going to get your fill of so you can swear them off for awhile while you get your weight loss efforts in check.  Yes, that batch.

This is the thinking, the excuse I have used in the past that helped me gain 40 pounds.  Why do I still use it then?  Because,

IT'S AN EXCUSE I TEND TO BELIEVE! 

A way for my mind to be okay with the idea of freely eating brownies without the guilt.

The "plan" was to have a great day today.  Eat enough brownies on Sunday until I was sick of them so when I wake up on Monday, I'd have a new resolve.  Today is Monday, the fresh start to a new week where I hop back on the wagon and get my eating and exercise in order, right? Wrong. Guess what I had for breakfast?

The cycle continued.  I know I am not the only lady out there that does this. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. For one reason or another we use excuses to tell ourselves it's okay to indulge today so that we can do better tomorrow.

So was today an epic failure?  A day to cancel out with horrible eating so that tomorrow will be better?  NOPE!  I have learned something on this journey.  I told myself this morning, right after eating the first brownie of the day, no matter how today went, I would work out.

I have OCD, I'm a perfectionist and these two together will probably be the end of me one day. Maybe. But I am learning to use them to work with me.  Long ago they worked against me in the perfect vs. not perfect day thinking, like I explained above.  (If today isn't perfect, gorge and try again tomorrow)  Now, I use it to hold myself to a promise.

Tonight, after a day that started with brownies that went through lunch, I ended the day with a normal dinner and a workout.  The workout felt great!!  I went onto the elliptical with thoughts of what to snack on after I was finished and end up stepping off of it sweaty with a lost of appetite. Soon, I'm going to make myself some herbal tea with a shot of milk and call it a day.

With my old, OCD-perfectionist thinking, today would have been an epic failure the moment the brownie hit my lips.  Instead, I'm ending the day feeling in control and ready to take on tomorrow, a little bit stronger in my weight loss goals.

Meeting Maggie Stiefvater

Along my weight loss journey, I have found that I love to read books on the elliptical trainer while I work out. It passes the time and I get uninterrupted reading time in. It's a win all around! One book that I read earlier this spring was Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater.  I greatly enjoyed it.  In a nutshell, it's like Twilight except substitute wolves for the vampires.  Young love, a paranormal life pulling them apart, you know the type of story...I love an easy read that sweeps me away. (I must warn you, the night I started Shiver, I wasn't ready to put it down after my workout.  I kept reading until I was done-because it was that good.)

The second book in the series, Linger, just came out last month.  Excited for the book to come out, I discovered that her book tour took her to Petaluma, which is a good two hour drive.  Wanting to go, but not wanting to make the drive by myself, I put out the feelers on Facebook to see if anyone wanted to go with me.  My close friend, Christine, said she wanted to go.  Living at the middle mark in Vacaville, it was planned that I would pick her up along the way!

Leaving later than I wanted and then finding out the parking garage that was supposed to be "Just behind the bookstore," wasn't, we were still parking the car at the time the event started. No, the parking garage wasn't just behind the bookstore like the young fellow I spoke with on the phone said, it was 3-4 blocks away on the other side of a stream/river/water thing.  By the time we hiked, went over a dock and waited to cross a busy street, we were 15 minutes late.  Luckily, after we got to the store, recovered from our brisk walk and purchased our books, Maggie had just started to talk.

Did I mention that it was absolutely FREEZING?? Yea, we left home pushing 100 degrees and when we got to Petaluma, we could nearly see our breath before our eyes. No, it wasn't that cold, but had we properly dressed, it would have been a lovely walk.  Since I had hot summer day attire on, my teeth were chattering so hard, I thought I would chip a tooth.

Despite the craziness it took to get to the signing, it was absolutely wonderful to see Maggie Stiefvater.  Maggie was just as wonderful in person as she is online. It's neat to meet other moms who are using their talents to entertain others while raising a family. I could have listened to her funny life stories for hours.

The best story she shared, was about her most recent plane ride.  On the way to the Bay Area, she found out that "Linger" didn't just debut on the New York Times Best Seller List, but that it debuted as #1. (Read the full plane story HERE and her post about her first Linger tour HERE. )

Starving from the drive and the signing, Christine and I ate at a Mexican food place down the street from the book store.  It was okay.  (I'm a super picky when it comes to Mexican food, or any food for that matter)  We missed out on the fried ice cream since we were there near closing time. Next time I will consume my first real fried ice cream. The last time I ordered it, probably when I was a kid, it was a scoop of vanilla ice cream rolled in corn flakes.  I'm serious.

As I dropped Christine off, I realized that we didn't take any pictures together! In my lame attempt to capture the evening together, I got this.  Not bad, but not the best.

I'll keep this photo small to spare you.  We were both sleepy, although I am looking a little cranked. I drank a huge glass of soda at dinner to keep me awake.  I typically avoid caffeine, so when I drink it, it's super effective.  You can see this in my eyes. (Another reason to keep the photo small, my eyes are frightfully large and the way we are positioned, my head looks freakishly huge compared to Christine)

We had a great time! It was a wonderful, fun and at times, silly way to attend my first book signing.  I hope to attend many more.

Hanging off the wagon by a shoelace.

So I haven't been the best example lately.  The elliptical trainer is dusty and I couldn't tell you the last time I was on it.  I also haven't been eating as well as I should, but I haven't been completely out of control either. This is probably because there isn't anything in the house to snack on, or I would be. (I didn't buy snacks this week on purpose) 

Every once and awhile we find ourselves in a place where we wonder how we got there.  I haven't been trying to avoid being healthy, but I certainly haven't been embracing it either.

Today I noticed that my knees were a bit achy.  The ache is a reminder that I am not 19 any more and when I don't workout, my body will remind me of this.  For me, when I don't work out, I slowly gain weight.  Mostly, because I like to eat.  Working out daily and eating the way I do balance each other out.  Take away the exercise and eat a little sloppy in regards to good choices, and the weight returns, quickly.   

Lately, I have been using the exercise excuse that is as old as the existence of stationary bikes.  

"I am just too busy to workout tonight."

Honestly, I'm too busy for my health?  Really? Shouldn't that be a priority?  If we don't make it a priority, our body will certainly make our health a priority when it's taken away.  Health is never more precious than when you aren't in possession of it.  My knees are reminding me daily of this important fact.  I must put working out back into my schedule.