So yesterday we had homemade brownies. (And by homemade, I mean homemade. No boxed ingredients where you add eggs, oil and whatever, just 100% of OMGoodness) I made the "One last batch" kind of brownies. You know that batch, the one you are going to get your fill of so you can swear them off for awhile while you get your weight loss efforts in check. Yes, that batch.
This is the thinking, the excuse I have used in the past that helped me gain 40 pounds. Why do I still use it then? Because,
IT'S AN EXCUSE I TEND TO BELIEVE!
A way for my mind to be okay with the idea of freely eating brownies without the guilt.
The "plan" was to have a great day today. Eat enough brownies on Sunday until I was sick of them so when I wake up on Monday, I'd have a new resolve. Today is Monday, the fresh start to a new week where I hop back on the wagon and get my eating and exercise in order, right? Wrong. Guess what I had for breakfast?
The cycle continued. I know I am not the only lady out there that does this. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. For one reason or another we use excuses to tell ourselves it's okay to indulge today so that we can do better tomorrow.
So was today an epic failure? A day to cancel out with horrible eating so that tomorrow will be better? NOPE! I have learned something on this journey. I told myself this morning, right after eating the first brownie of the day, no matter how today went, I would work out.
I have OCD, I'm a perfectionist and these two together will probably be the end of me one day. Maybe. But I am learning to use them to work with me. Long ago they worked against me in the perfect vs. not perfect day thinking, like I explained above. (If today isn't perfect, gorge and try again tomorrow) Now, I use it to hold myself to a promise.
Tonight, after a day that started with brownies that went through lunch, I ended the day with a normal dinner and a workout. The workout felt great!! I went onto the elliptical with thoughts of what to snack on after I was finished and end up stepping off of it sweaty with a lost of appetite. Soon, I'm going to make myself some herbal tea with a shot of milk and call it a day.
With my old, OCD-perfectionist thinking, today would have been an epic failure the moment the brownie hit my lips. Instead, I'm ending the day feeling in control and ready to take on tomorrow, a little bit stronger in my weight loss goals.
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