Lamb in Palava Sauce

Ingredients:

• 500 g lean lamb, cut into small cubes


• 1/2 pint lamb, chicken or veg stock


• 1 red chilli, seeded and chopped


• 2 egg whites


• 1 inch piece of fresh root ginger, peeled and roughly chopped


• 1 onion, half roughly chopped and half sliced


• 1 tbsp tomato puree


• 400 g can of tomatoes


• 6 tbsp palm oil or vegetable oil


• 200 g fresh spinach leaves, roughly shredded


• 2 garlic cloves, peeled

Preparation:

• Blitz the chilli, ginger, garlic, chopped onion, tomato puree and tomatoes in a food processor until chopped together to make a sauce.


• Heat the oil in a large frying pan and fry the sliced onion for 2 minutes.


• Add the lamb and stir fry over a highish heat for 6-7 mins until starting to brown.


• Pour the tomato sauce over the lamb and bubble rapidly for 2-3 minutes, then stir in the stock and add seasoning to taste.


• Cover and simmer gently for 40-50 mins, stirring occasionally, until the lamb is tender and the sauce has thickened.


• Stir in the spinach so that it wilts, then simmer for 2-3 minutes. Drizzle in the egg white and continue to simmer for 2 minute until just set.


• YUMMY

Weight Loss Recipes Amount Per Serving: 421 Calories, 3g Carbohydrate, 1.5g Dietary Fiber

Deep Dish Pizza

Ingredients:

• 8 ounces Italian cheese blend or mozzarella cheese, shredded


• 4 ounces cream cheese, softened


• 2 egg whites


• 1/4 cup pizza sauce


• 4 ounces mozzarella cheese, shredded


• 1/4 teaspoon oregano or Italian seasoning


• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder


• 1/4 cup parmesan cheese, 1 ounce


• Assorted toppings: pepperoni, ham, sausage, 4 ounce can mushrooms, green peppers, bacon, ground beef, etc.


• Dash of garlic pepper or garlic powder and some Italian seasoning for top of pizza

Preparation:

• Whisk cream cheese until smooth and creamy in a medium bowl, whisk in egg whites until mixture is well-blended and smooth.


• Add the parmesan and seasonings, stir in the 8 ounces of Italian cheese blend until completely moistened.


• Spread cheese mixture evenly in a well-greased 9x13" glass baking dish or lightly greased and lined with parchment paper.


• Bake at 375º about 20-25 minutes, until evenly browned.


• Leave to cool completely on a wire rack. When nearly cooled, take a metal spatula and carefully pry up the edges to loosen from pan.


• Ease the spatula under the whole crust to loosen.


• Keep crust in the pan. This makes it easier to remove the finished pizza later. Refrigerate, uncovered, until shortly before serving time.


• Spread chilled crust with pizza sauce, then cheese and toppings of your choice.


• Lightly sprinkle with seasonings of your choice.


• Bake at 375º about 15-20 minutes or until toppings are bubbly. Let stand a few minutes before cutting.

Weight Loss Recipes Amount Per Serving(Makes 8 servings ): 304 Calories, 25g Fat, 17g Protein, 3g Carbohydrate, 1g Dietary Fiber, 2g Net Carbohydrate

I'm amazingly okay with my weight gain

Today is my weigh-in day. After a full week of practicing Geneen Roth's Women Food and God eating guidelines I stepped on the scales. I knew I had gained a little. Over the years I've become very attuned to the ups and downs of my weight. I always know if it's going to be a gain or a loss.

Before I looked down at the number I had a conversation with myself. It went something like this:

"Diana, it's okay. If you've gained and you probably have, it's not a big deal. This is an experiment. Something new you've never tried before. It's just a number. It doesn't define you. Remember, this was a good week regardless of what you see on the scales."

I looked down and saw 175.4. Last week I was 174.0. A gain of 1.4 pounds. Did I have just a twinge of regret? Yes, just a twinge. Not a foot-stomping, full-out "I hate myself" reaction that I would normally have over a weight gain.

I realize I don't really understand when I'm hungry. If you consider that for 42 years I've either been on some sort of restrictive diet to lose weight or on a full-out binge streak, it's not surprising that I don't know how to listen to my body and give it what it needs. I haven't been listening to it for 42 years. Things aren't going to change in a week.

Although I have made huge strides this past week. Things happened that I never thought possible. My night eating almost stopped. I slept better than I have in months or even years. I didn't feel stressed out about my eating. I felt more relaxed. I felt satisfied with my food. I ate healthy, wholesome food.

Then last night happened. It was not a good night for me. I got home late from a Toastmaster's function and then proceeded to get into a huge argument with my husband. He went to bed mad at me. I'd eaten an early dinner at 4pm before the function and it was 11pm. I was starving.

I ate until I was stuffed: a big handful of pecans, a piece of bread, a banana, a large bowl of my South Beach veggie chicken soup, 1/2 of a cantaloupe, a tapioca pudding cup and about 1/2 cup of Redi-Whip straight out of the can (I would have had more, but the can was empty). I felt physically sick and mentally hurt.

Why did I do that? It's pretty obvious. I was frustrated, angry, hurt, and feeling lost and alone. Not good emotions. I was also very tired from another incredibly stressful work week. I didn't want to feel the pain of all of it so I ate. I shoved those feelings down with food. I knew what I was doing but I did it anyway.

On the other hand I ate normally the rest of the week. 167 hours of normal behavior with food. One hour of craziness. I say that's about a 99% improvement over my past behavior when it came to food.

I didn't follow all the eating guidelines perfectly last week, but it isn't about perfection. They're guidelines, not rules.

It's more about trying to be more normal. Learning to listen to my body. More importantly, figuring out if it's hunger or something else. I was amazed at how often I identified it as something else. I think that's a big reason why I stopped eating late at night, with the exception of last night. I would consciously think, am I really hungry? Or is something else bothering me? Most of the time, it was something else.

Last night I was a little hungry when I got home since it was so late, and I'd eaten at 4pm. I was also extremely tired. Even though I was very aware that I should stop eating, and that I was actually really angry and hurt by the argument with my husband, I still chose food. I just wanted my old friend, food, to comfort me. It didn't work. I woke up today feeling like the food was still in my stomach. Feeling sluggish and more tired than when I had gone to bed.

On the exercise front I've been doing excellent. The past seven days I've hit the gym every day for a great workout. The old StairMaster at my gym finally completely stopped working about three months. It was my favorite piece of equipment. I spent many hours on it climbing the stairs to nowhere.

A couple weeks ago I asked the young receptionist if there was a possibility they could get a replacement StairMaster from another gym. A friend told me the Ballys in Bellevue had three new StairMasters. Now we had none. Why couldn't we get one of theirs? She said she'd look into it and she did!

I walked in yesterday and there sat a beautiful, almost new StairMaster. It was like Christmas! I jumped on it even though I'd already done 45 minutes of cardio on the CrossRamp in another room, but I did 20 minutes on the StairMaster. She was quiet and smooth as I climbed her stairs and her heart rate monitor works! She could read my Polar heart rate monitor. Oh how I love thee!

So another week of trying to follow the eating guidelines. I'm still not tracking my food or counting Points or calories, although it's really hard not to add things up in my head. After years of restriction or binging, this isn't an easy process.

I still won't be weighing in every day. That's another really  hard habit to break, but it was also freeing. It felt good to get up and know I didn't have to beat myself up over my weight. I'll weigh in again next Saturday. I don't have a fear of another gain, although it could happen. I'll probably cut back a little. My bowls of soup have been about three times what I would normally eat. I probably took the "what my body needs" to more of what my mind wants instead.

Tomorrow I'm going to post my driver's license pictures from the last twenty years. I found them in a box from my decluttering my life binge I've been on lately. Kind of interesting how my weight has gone up and down during the years and how much I lied on my driver's licenses about it. The only time I told the truth was in 1995 when I weighed 126 pounds. I remember weighing that morning before I went to the DMV and thinking wow, I can actually tell them what I really weigh and not be embarrassed about it.  That was probably the last time I was actually happy with my weight. Fifteen years ago. Sad.

hairdressers

A commiseratory card from Caroline - thanks babe!

There should be some kind of Quality Control on people who can so swiftly shag your hair up.

If there is some kind of control, then people should know about it.

Like the 5 star hygiene certificate that restaraunts, butchers, bakers etc have to display. I promptly stopped getting take away from the curry house with 2 stars!!! It should be an incentive to up their game and sort out their cleanliness.

Hairdressing salons should have somethign like that too.

My hair is royally fucked.

I cannot quite take it in. Thank god it grows fast that's all I can say.

About 3 weeks ago, tired of plain black boring straight hair I decided to get a perm. I used to LOVE perms as a kid and my last perm was when I was about 21. It looks great on me and I love the way you get several different ways to play with your hair as it seems to hold a style better, do more wicked up-do's etc. I love playing with my hair.

So, my hair was washed, rolled up and the perm solution drizzled on. This was a new idea to me, because when my mum did it on my long hair (a hairdresser too) I had dry hair, and she wet every strand with perm lotion as she rollered it up. Oh well, thinks I, must be the new way to do it. It has been about 15 years or so after all.

Then after a massive amount of time I had the stuff washed out and then half a bottle of neutraliser was drizzled on to each roll. Hmmm. Again, a new idea because when my mum did it, she had a bowl of the stuff and it was liberally plastered all over the rollers... so much so that my hair was saturated and it was dripping down my head in my eyes, down my back... I was wringing with the stuff. The jollop must just be stronger these days, thinks I.

Then my hair was washed out, the rollers taken out, and to my shock horror, I had semi wavy, frizzy, part ringletty, part straight, elastic bandy hair. Hmmm. Not good.

The way I remember a perm was summed up in one word - wet. This was an immensely dry experience. I guess you could say after this 'new' kind of perm, that the old way was best.

The new way of perming seemed to throw in some extra added bonus items - like I also got gold highlights where the black is completely removed, and patches of brown where the black dye has washed out.

So anyway, before the woman can ruin it further by scrunching it to death and frizzing it beyond all control I say I must go and leave swiftly to get home and have a good look at it. I wash it once again and carefully comb it to find that the front is actually straighter now than it was before I had a perm and is stretchy. You can stretch out a big strand of hair about an inch at least.
the underneath is pretty ringletty, but the top is lank, and the ends - where the endpaper has been - are dead straight. It doesnt take a genius longto work out that perm lotion never even got to that bit of hair. For one thing, that part of the hair - the 1 and a half inches where the papers were - is still jet black.

The morning after this disaster I looked like this

Ok, the beard is a little excessive, theres just a few whiskers on my chin, but yes, this was me.

I decided after letting the perm settle (and wearing it UP for 3 weeks) that I needed to get it dyed again and cut evenly - if only to get rid of the straight ends. Its my mum and dads anniversary tomorrow so I went and got it done today, nice and fresh.

Now, the cut is fine. But then it was simple - cut and inch off. The dye job however...hmm

Well first of all she didn't have black, she had run out. She suggested the darkest brown. I asked her if this would cover evenly seeing as I still had a significant amount of black in there amongst the brown patches and she said yes.
Maybe I am a dumb ass, or maybe she really was telling the truth, but this did not work out. The darkest brown she put on my hair dyed all my hair brown and toned the black in a bit, but left my roots ginger.

GINGER

How the hell is this possible man? My pure virgin hair - unpermed, undyed natural roots (about 1cm - it grows like the clappers I told you) turned orange. As my glasses are off, I don't really notice how bad it is, but she assures me that its just not taken and she will put some permanent ink on it (!!!) and when I get in then just rub it off with kitchen towel. apparently it might also be best to wash my hair before bed as it could get on the pillow. Great. She then goes about performing the root miracle with her equivalent of a hairdressers Sharpie.

Then, I endure the scrunching saga, and the diffuser blow drying which makes the whole hair do look like a diabolical afro crime.

I put my glasses on and took a breath. I paid her £30 for the effort, and hurried away as quick as I could straight into the shop next door and bought a Black hair dye for £4.99 and legged it home quick with my, straight out of a 'hammer house of horrors', afro slash caveman slash hedge witch super cut.

Fucking hell.

I spent £45 on the perm and £30 getting it dyed back to black only to end up with a multicolour bale of hay on my head. God, why can I not complain??? I just can't do it.

So, I am now jet black thanks to Charlotte's help with the back of my bonce. Its going to take some baby oil and nurturing to get some life back in it, a couple of months to get it the same length and about a year to get rid of the hellish perm nightmare, but you have to look positive right?

There needs to be some kind of Body for hairdressers. Schools have Ofsted, Telecoms have Oftel... but I think Ofhair might give the wrong message. I definitely have OFF HAIR!

 My leg hairs are curlier than this.

Crustless Quiche

Ingredients:

• 3 cups chopped broccoli


• 1/2 cup chopped onion


• 113 g shredded swiss cheese


• 4 slices cooked bacon (cut into small pieces)


• 3 egg whites


• 3 Tbsp butter


• 1/2 cup heavy cream with enough water to equal 2/3 cup liquid


• 3/4 tsp salt


• 1½ Tbsp soy flour


• pepper and nutmeg to taste

Preparation:

• Prepared 9" pie plate sprayed with non-stick spray 375 degrees, 25 minutes.


• Set aside cooked broccoli.


• Saute onions gently in butter, until tender, add soy flour and cook a couple more minutes.


• Whisk together egg whites, cream and water. Mix in salt and spices.


• Combine egg white mix, prepared vegetables and cheese.


• Pour into prepared pie plate.


• Bake in oven until puffed and browned.

Weight Loss Recipes Amount Per Serving: 30 carbohydrate

50 Cent Shocking Weight Loss Pictures

50 cent or 25 cent. I'm a bit confused people. Look at this picture of him that he posted on the twitter page. omg!! that's scary. He lost this 50 pounds (nearly 25 kg) of massive weight for his role as a cancer diagnosed star high school footballer in the movie "Things Fall Apart". 50 cent - real name Curtis Jackson, the rapper normally weighed 215 lbs. But after the nine weeks on a liquid diet, he's now 160 pounds and appears gaunt. I like the fact that he is very committed to this role.
He said to one of the popular magazines, "I had so much muscle on me that it was hard for me to lose definition even as I got lighter and slimmer. I started running to suppress my appetite. Towards the end it was really difficult. It was like, if I don't get close enough to what my best friend looked like to me at that point before he passed, then I'm not doing the story any justice". After reading this, respect for you 50 cent.
Inspired by De Niro, Hanks and Bale, he told the Associated press, "I actually got on the computer. When it started getting difficult, I was looking to see what their experience was like and I got a chance to see all of the interviews they had at different time periods when they were doing promotion for the projects."
Robert De Niro lost 35 pounds (nearly 16 kg) for his role as Travis Bickle in the movie "Taxi Driver", a 1976 classic by Martin Scorsese. While Tom Hanks shed the same amount of weight for his Oscar-winning role as a gay lawyer with AIDS in 1993 classic "Philadelphia". Christian Bale went on losing 65 pounds (nearly 29kg) of weight for his emaciated appearance in the 2004's "The Machinist". Check out these weight loss pictures of Robert De Niro, Tom Hanks and Christian Bale. Have ur say!!
(see more Weight Loss Pictures of Celebrities)

Not a total disaster

Last night we went out for dinner - Chinese.

Thankfully it was not the "all you can eat buffet" - they don't do that on a Friday, much to DH & DS's dismay. I love it too, but not when I am trying to lose weight. It's too tempting as I like too many things and you can order at will.

So it was 'a la carte' last night and we ordered the mixed hors d'oeuvres which consisted of

1. chicken satay
2. spare ribs in a crispy coating
3. sesame prawn toast
4. crispy seaweed
5. wantons
6. mini spring roll

Now, eating out is a fun thing to do for everyone and even though I am banded I want to be able to do this still- I don't have to worry too much with the band at the moment as its normally ok for me to eat a pretty much anything I like as its not that tight. There is some restriction there, but for me the band just stops me feeling hungry even though I am consuming less food - which is great and the adjustment level is just what I can handle right now. 

So out of the above - which unbanded/unfilled/uncaring I would eat 1 piece of everything - I ate half the seaweed, 1 spring roll, 4 pieces of prawn toast (cos no one else likes it). The boys polished off everything else.

We followed this with aromatic crispy duck in pancakes with hoisin sauce. I had 3 pancakes - light on duck, heavy on cucumber and spring onion.

I had 2 glasses of red wine (which tasted like vinegar) and a pot of jasmine tea.

I find that Chinese is the best food for me to eat out as I can have some Chinese tea first before eating which helps warm the band up before hand and stops those mad dashes to the loos - although that has still happened on many an occasion.

Its always a bit odd to order coffee or tea with your meal for some reason in England. Why is that? Does anyone else find that its just not the done thing? At home as a kid we always had tea with our dinner, but it seems its a bit odd to order this with your meal at a restaurant unless its an all day breakfast. The last thing I want to do after dinner is drink coffee or tea on an already full tummy. I would much rather have it before - hence I have never found the 'drink before meals' banded routine difficult. Sorry got a bit off the point. Its just it only just struck me. No one would mind if you ordered tea - its just no one does. How funny. Oh well.

So yeah, the dinner - we finished our duck and finished our meal there. We were all absolutely full. At the buffet we would then have ordered the following for sure: 

• crispy shredded beef
• chicken fried rice
• sweet and sour chicken Cantonese style
• beef in black bean sauce
• king prawns in ginger
• and possibly something else that DS wanted

The prawns in ginger... always a funny one. I had this dish years ago and it was DELICIOUS. I have never ever been able to find it the same again since. It is always a bitter disappointment - chewy stringy overcooked prawns in nice sauce, or delicious well cooked prawns in a rank sauce which ruins it all, or the sauce is yum, the prawns are cooked well, but they taste too fishy or something like that. *sigh*

No one else likes prawns except me, so whenever I order it, the whole dish would go to waste if I didn't eat it - however minging it is! Because I feel bad about leaving food I have ordered - which I know will just be thrown away if I leave it, and so as not to appear rude like it was horrible - cos they always ask 'you don't like the prawns' - I try and eat most of it anyway, and then regret it because I haven't eaten my favorite dishes cos I am way too full.

Oh the conundrum!!

It is deeply tragic that i care so much about this, but there we go. We're not banded for nothing!

Anyway, we didn't order any of these things, because we were full and satisfied so I was saved from the peril of the neverending prawns in ginger debacle.

So we all came home and were happy in our hearts. Or not.

The evil scale demon lashed its tongue at me as I sat watching Shortland Street. I was happily engrossed when it caught my eye - sitting there on the floor giving me evils. It's such a bastard. Being overweight really is a true eating disorder. Its as bad as being anorexic or bulimic - we are all messed in the head about food and abuse it at will and let it rule our lives until we decide enough is enough. But even when we decide to stop the craziness, the mental anguish/debating/wrangling still pervades. There was NO REASON for me to do what I did next. I was full. satisfied. not even THINKING about food.

The scale triggered my eating. It grabbed my mind like a vice. I suddenly felt rubbish about not losing weight this week - even though I had totally put it to bed in my mind way back at the beginning of the day. The mind is so powerful and I instantly thought "well I ruined it all anyway because of the Chinese"

Now let this be a lesson to you ALL.

I had NOT ruined it all.

I got up at 6am this morning to write to my future self - and to you all - to warn me/you - if I had not eaten another thing - gone to bed, right then - I would have been fine.

I had consumed 2395 calories yesterday - that included the Chinese and the wine and my lunch and everything. I was only 350 calories over my limit. This was FINE.

But the fucking diet devil deceived me into believing that I had bust everything anyway, so why hold back. What was the point? You feel rubbish. Comfort yourself. You poor thing.

Ok - the title of this post is absolutely true. It could of been A LOT worse but only wasn't for the sheer lack of food in the house and the time of day - 12pm = little 'house of chocolate and crisps' shop shut.

Feeling like shit for eating out, thinking the day was irredeemable - I get DH to make me a coleslaw sandwich. And after I had polished that off - ANOTHER one!

So 2395 calories becomes 3000. In 15 minutes.

1000 calories over my goal.

It was so quick, so easy!

But, the reason I am writing this at 7:45 in the morning (I started it at 6:30) is because I didn't want today to be messed up by the FDD. The FDD also didn't want me to add my foods up with livestrong, but I came down here - the whole house is still asleep - and carefully remembered every morsel and put it on livestrong.

The reason my day went to shit was because I had no idea how many calories I had consumed at the Chinese Restaurant. When we came home I did not go and record it down on Livestrong. I was not in control.

Its the not knowing. Thinking you have gone over the top and you might as well give up today. Well I am going to try and remember this and know that a Chinese meal out does not tip me over the top of my calorie goals. If I had not had the wine, I would have still been under for the day!

So I need to especially remember this on Sunday after the Italian. I must go careful, but its not going to be a crisis.

I must not let the FDD win!

This was a necessary vent. I am still strong. Don't worry :-) 3000 calories is not the end of the world. I need to eat 3000 calories a day to maintain my weight, so I will just have slowed my progress a little, but I can rationalise it out. For some of you it might seem that I am over analyzing things, but I must tell you that I need to do this, have the control, or I lose my fight. Its how I do things when I am on track.