Fucking peeved

I notice that this months posts have all been rather down and the mouth, sorry. I am not particularly down at the mouth, nor down at the scales it would seem. I am 117.9kgs today. Yay.

NOT YAY!

I cannot work out what the heck-a doodle is going on in my body but it would seem, against all scientific studies on earth, that my metabolism works backwards. If I eat a full pile of shit and sugar all week - I lose weight or stay the same. If I exercise like a sweaty pig and eat less - I gain.

Well what does that suggest to one that is trying to eat less and exercise. Yeah, seems like its not worth it.

God! What the FUCK???????????

Man I know you guys are all awesome and stuff but I have absolutely no idea why you bother to follow this blog as its such a pile of utter drivel and self loathing.

Even I don't have any idea why I write it!! I mean seriously? What IS the point of it.

*Death Sigh*


I just took a minute there to cover my face with my hands and rub it. I just don't know what to do any more. I am sitting here trying to be positive. I CAN'T. What can I be positive about. I busted my ass for 3 and a half weeks and I am heavier now than I was at the start.

Oh jeez. I need help and I have pretty much exhausted all possibilities.

I know that unbanded is not the way to go. I put on a lot of weight real quick so I know it's not the answer. But banding isn't either. Something MUST BE WRONG WITH ME. Like INSIDE.

Its not physically fucking possible to expend more calories than you consume and NOT lose weight.

Maybe I am am the right person to send to the Amazon or Sahara or Himalayas or Antarctica. I would get fatter and fatter as I ate less and less and exercised more and more. I am a scientific DREAM! I should be studied. People can write their thesis' on me. COME ON! Contact me scientists!!! Old Captian Scott would have took me on the team. I dunno about them, but I woulda defo made it home right?!!!! 

I am not going to stop because I can't. I can't afford an unfill or a fill (and I am as tight as the proverbial D.A. anyway). I can't stop going to the gym as I have to do it for TB. I also


Enjoy it!!!!!


There I said it, but really small just in case anyone hears!

I am committed to shifting this bulk, but I just don't know how to do it any more chapettes.

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!

(and that's just a scream cos I am fucked of right? I'll be ok in a few days..weeks lol)

Applesauce Carrot Cake

(makes 16 servings)

Ingredients:

• 2 cups white flour
  
  


• ⅔ cup sugar
  
  


• 2 tsp baking soda
  
  


• ½ tsp nutmeg
  
  


• ½ tsp salt
  
  


• 1½ tsp cinnamon
  
  


• 3 eggs
  
  


• 3 cups carrots, coarsely chopped
  
  


• ¾ cup unsweetened applesauce
  
  


• ¼ cup vegetable oil
  
  

Preparation:

• Mix flour, baking soda, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt in a large mixing bowl. Set aside
  
  


• In a separate small-sized bowl, combine the applesauce, vegetable oil and eggs. Add to the flour mixture, stirring until the ingredients are well blended. Add carrots and mix well.
  
  


• Pour into greased 9 x 13 inch pan, or two bread loaf pans, or a cupcake pan.
  
  


• Bake about 1 hour at 350 degrees., or until a toothpick inserted in the thickest part of the cake comes out clean. Set the cake on a wire rack for five minutes. Then, run a knife around the edges of the pan to loosen the cake.
  
  


• Turn the cake out onto the rack to cool.
  
  

Make 16 Servings:

Weight loss recipes Amount Per Serving (1/16 cake (73 g)): 147 Calories, 3 g Protein, 24 g carbohydrates, 1 g Dietary Fiber, 5 g fat, 1 g saturated fat, 40 mg cholesterol, 254 mg sodium

450 cals

Not bad. That's like my whole lunch gone in one gym session.

I have been keeping up with the 3 times a week gym routine. I havent a clue if its doing me any good, but seem to be getting quicker, further round the track and burning more calories every time I go... We normally go for an hour. I have definitely upped the pace and graduation on the treadmill and makde it tougher on the bike so I guess it must.

Weigh in tomorrow am. Be there or umm not. :-)

Acorn Squash Cookies

(makes 24 cookies)

Ingredients:

• ¾ cup firmly packed brown sugar
  
  


• ¼ cup margarine, softened
  
  


• 1 egg
  
  


• ¾ cup mashed, cooked acorn squash
  
  


• 1¼ cups whole wheat flour
  
  


• ¼ teaspoon baking soda
  
  


• ½ teaspoon baking powder
  
  


• ¼ teaspoon salt
  
  


• ⅛ teaspoon nutmeg
  
  


• ½ teaspoon cinnamon
  
  


• Low-fat cooking spray
  
  

Preparation:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  
  


• Cream sugar and margarine at medium speed until light and fluffy. Add egg and mashed squash; beat well.
  
  


• In a medium-sized bowl, combine baking powder, whole wheat flour, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt, then add dry ingredients to the squash mixture, mixing well.
  
  


• Drop dough by heaping tablespoonfuls 2-inches apart onto cookie sheets sprayed with low-fat cooking spray.
  
  


• Bake at 350ºF for 15-18 minutes.
  
  


• Makes 20-25 cake-like cookies.
  
  

Make 24 Servings:

Weight loss recipes Amount Per Serving (1 cookie (28 g)): 101 Calories, 1 g Protein, 12 g carbohydrates, 1 g Dietary Fiber, 6 g fat, 1 g saturated fat, 0 mg cholesterol, 118 mg sodium

Blueberry Muffins

Makes 6

Prep times: 12

Total time: 50 minutes

Ingredient for the muffins

• 3/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour
  
  


• 1/4 cup plus 1 tsp sugar, divided
  
  


• 1/4 cup quick-cooking oats (not instant)
  
  


• 1 tsp baking powder
  
  


• 1/4 tsp baking soda
  
  


• 1/4 tsp salt
  
  


• 2/3 cup lowfat buttermilk, plus
  
  


• 1 tbsp lowfat buttermilk
  
  


• 1 medium egg
  
  


• 1 tbsp canola oil
  
  


• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  
  


• 3/4 cup fresh blueberries, washed and dried
  
  


• Lowfat cooking spray
  
  

Ingredient for the topping

• 1/8 cup blueberry all-fruit spread
  
  


• 12 fresh blueberries, washed and dried
  
  

Preparing

• Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
  
  


• In a large-size bowl, combine flour, 1/4 cup of sugar, oats, baking powder, baking soda, and salt
  
  


• Whisk together buttermilk, egg, canola oil, and vanilla in a separate bowl
  
  


• Toss blueberries with flour mixture. Pour wet ingredients into flour mixture and stir gently.
  
  


• Spray a non-stick pan with cooking spray, line a 6-count muffin pan. Divide batter evenly; sprinkle with remaining sugar.
  
  


• Bake until tops are just set (about 12 to 15 minutes). Remove pan from oven and top each muffin with 1/2 tsp fruit spread and 1 blueberry.
  
  


• Bake until golden (about 3 to 5 minutes). Cool in pan for about 10 minutes and serve.
  
  

Nutrition score per serving (1 muffin): 173 calories, 4 g fat, < 1 g saturated fat, 31 g carbs, 4 g protein, 3 g fiber, 46 mg calcium, 1 mg iron, 215 mg sodium

Male Weight Loss Transformations

Check out this page, which has four inspiring stories of men losing weight. Here's an exerpt from Calle's story, he lost 136 pounds and was asked;

If someone reading this has repeatedly tried and failed to change their life for the better and they are considering giving up do you have any words of encouragement for them ?

I can only speak from my experience, I was a healthy morbidly obese person, but for how long? I used to hate pictures of myself, I was really mad when i looked myself in the mirror.

I´ve been alone for years, no girlfriend and not going out because i was ashamed of myself. If you identify with these things, well, you need to change. The best feeling in the world is when people see you on the street and make this big amazing surprised face because you are looking younger, great and healthier. Another great feeling is to fit in normal size modern clothes.

Are you demotivated? Find the reason! Take a picture of yourself every month so you will see the changes and be motivated every time. Know that you are eating to keep your body healthy and fine. Just think in long term, your body will thank you for that.

When you reach your goal, you will feel powerful, invincible, that you can achieve whatever you want in life. Let me tell you that this feeling leaves you speechless and so happy every second of your life. It will worth the fight and the sacrifices, just keep doing it and results will come.

First bike ride of 2011

Today was a gorgeous day in the Pacific Northwest. I pulled my bike out of the garage, dusted off the cobwebs, pumped up the flat back tire and went for my first bike ride of the year. It was sunny and 50 degrees. Gorgeous!

I forgot how much I love riding my bike. It's hard to describe flying down a hill at 25 mph and feeling completely in control, yet free as a bird at the same time. I totally love it. Of course, going back up those hills with my extra twenty pounds was horrible. I thought I was going to have a heart attack for sure, as I was panting like a dog. It was really hard!

I biked to the gym, worked out with weights, upper body for an hour and then biked home. It took me about 25 minutes each direction. Much slower than my old 20-minutes I was doing last summer.. In almost two hours I burned 699 calories (Polar heart rate monitor).

Right now I'm totally and completely exhausted.

Watching the Grammys. Worst show ever! Right now I'm watching Cee-Lo Green in a goofy feather outfit singing the F--k You song (which I hate), but he's singing "Forget You" and he has some puppets and Gwynth Paltrow singing with him. Really? This is the best they could do? As soon as I finish this post the TV is going off. I'm reading a really good book, Minding Frankie by Maeve Binchy. Love this book.

Plan for my week
Lots of exercise, as usual. Lots of stairs this week too, since the Big Climb is in less than five weeks (yikes!).

About my food, I'm going to stop freaking out about it so much. I'm really getting sick of being so worried about what I eat all the time. A piece of cake a couple times a year isn't going to kill me. Or even two pieces of cake a couple times a year. I just want to be healthy.

I eat very healthy about 95% of the time. That's about 90% more than I was doing three years ago. My biggest problem is that I eat too much of the good stuff. I rarely eat junk. I just need to eat less. Sounds easy. It's not.