Weigh in time

Went to fat fighters and lost a big fat zero... simply stayed the same.

Came back had a coffee with Travelling Buddy and looked at eBay at this really wicked stuff called tatouage. Its lush. TB has put it on her dining table and it looks so delectable now.

I was thinking about getting some for my bedroom, but I have looked all through it and I think I shall wait and see what is available when I get around to decorating. At the moment, I am tired of decorating and the mess it brings.

Came home and DS was hungry (he must have tape worm) so I made him some soup and soldiers, and I finished off the macaroni cheese I made for last nights dinner. It was YUM. I made a tomato salsa to go with it and it just gives it a little oomph.

We had friends over yesterday that go to DH's badminton club. I hadn't met them before, so we decided to go and see a film together, but spiderman 3 was full and so was bridge to somewhere or other... so we just went back to TB and her hubbie's place and had a coffee with them for an hour or two and then went bowling. G had never been bowling before... but managed a strike on his last ball! Isn't that always the way. R - his girlfriend- thrashed us all, but it was a great laugh. Then they came back to our place and I made macaroni cheese. Sounds a bit lame, but not the way I do it. It had fried onions and breadcrumbs and other stuff in it too. Crispy topping cheese goes down a treat with a nice mug of tea.

I was a little surprised at how much I was able to eat. I had a normal size plate full and then when we went to bed I had another bowl full. I have just finished the rest off for my lunch, and it was quite a lot. I hope this fill is still working. Its got to be hasn't it??

Its possible that pasta may not be a problem for me and maybe i should keep clear of it a little.

Ho hum.
Will update this later no doubt.

Well, here I am again updating. I just spent an awesome amount of time looking at this website called www.funnyjunk.com which must be where all those random emails come from with the funny videos on.

Anyway, today has been a bit of a waste of time. Considering it was a day off before going back to work tomorrow, I could have done something more profitable. However, I went to bed at about 1pm and got up at 7:30pm Terrible.
I just don't know why I am so shattered ALL the time.

Dinner tonight was a WFF meal - quorn and sweet potato curry which I love. But I didn't finish all of it. I did however eat a pudding after than so I don't think it was because of restriction.

I don't think I have as much restriction now as I did at the start of this fill... probably due to swelling that has obviously gone down.

I feel a bit ill to be honest... sick and eugh.

Anyway, that's it.
Night night

I couldn't have my Lap Band operation now!!

I am surprised I hadn't thought about it before, but my BMI is now too low to have the lap band operation! That's extremely encouraging to know!
You have to have a BMI of over 35 to have the lap band with co-morbidity or over 38 otherwise.

So with a BMI of 34.7 and no co-morbid diseases... like diabetes or something... I would be turned away with my cash in my pocket.

I am also only 1 single tiny weeny stone heavier than my husband!!!!!!
That is a SERIOUS revelation in itself. He refuses to believe that he is 15 stone and something, but lets face it... the scales don't lie for me... so honey... guess you are gonna have to face facts.

I have never been lighter than him... well except for the fact that when he was 6 I was still a baby, so yeah ok at some point I have been lighter... but since I have known him in the last 11 years, I have always been a stone heavier than him. He was around 12 and a half stone when I met him and I was just over 13... So I am now ONLY 3 stone heavier than when I met him.

These are like my little milestones. I don't really have 'goals' per se... but things like "I'm only a stone heavier than you now honey" are really boosters.

Lets face it at one point I was 19 stone 2 and he was 14 and a half... that's 4 and a half stone heavier than him!!!! That's terrible. As it is, I think DH looks great. Yeah he has a bit of a beer belly, but its not awful. He is stocky and beefy and muscly and I love him. Now I always think he looks fine in whatever he wears... so if I surpass his weight (on the lowering side of things!) then I should be able to feel much better about myself in what I wear.

I must admit its a bit of a head messer.

Losing weight and 'becoming' this new person does really weird things to you. I don't feel like the real me any more... I kind of don't feel normal. I have only lost 23.5 pounds, so I just don't know how I will feel when I have lost say... 40lbs? How will that feel?

I bought a new swimsuit today. I ordered 2 on the Internet... most of my shopping comes from the Internet as its just so much easier, but they were not at all right. They didn't fit right and looked horrid. I ended up buying the costume that I thought would look awful on me, and it looked great! That's a really boost too. The costume I bought today would have looked grim 23.5 lbs ago, but now it looks sleek and nice. I am well pleased. The other two were more 'safe' choices and they kind of looked old fashioned on me.

So I am a happy bunny.

Today I have also had an eBay spend-up.

I have bought a bikini top and a sarong. There is no way I would bare all in a bikini outside the bedroom, but with a sarong it will be nice. I don't want to scare the sun in after all!

I have also bought DS some trainers, a kangaroo poo hoody for the evenings. I find you get nippy after being in the sun... I don't know if its the same in Sri Lanka, but he has it just in case. got loads of other stuff for the holiday too, but only spent £50 so was very pleased with self.

Right, today's food.
All has been well in band land, and I have behaved myself. I didn't have any breakfast as I didn't get up until 12:30pm anyway. Then we fiddled about doing bits and bobs and then I put the dinner on - another WFF meal. Braised beef in a rich sauce with broccoli, mash and swede. YUM YUM YUM. So tasty it is untrue. Then I had lemon sponge and custard for pudding also from WFF. They are really nice, and because its a single portion you simply can't eat too much. FAB!
Then we went to the city and got the swim suit.. and when we came back I had some Finn Crisp crackers and humous. Mmmmm I am still full... so I wont be having any more tonight, but I am about to sink a glass of wine and kick back.

I wanted to play Sims.... but I cant find the disc. We uninstalled it the other month and now I cant find it. Boo Hoo. I really love The Sims.

Anyway, that's all for now. My Mum and Dad are off to the Dom.Rep. tomorrow morning, and when they get back, we go away! Crazy! So next time they see me I should have shrunk a bit more!! Hurrah!

Kate Moss Clothing on eBay

The Kate Moss for Topshop clothing collection was just launched last week in the U.K. and Paris and quickly sold out. It looks like a lot of people who bought the items were thinking of profiting by reselling them on eBay. There are now over 3,500 items on auction at eBay.

The Kate Moss collection is available in British sizes 6 to 16. This converts to US sizes 2 to 12. Notice thee is no size zero available, which is a good sign for not encouraging sickly skinniness. On the other hand, anyone who is American size 14 or higher is out of luck if they want to wear the Kate Moss label.

See the very few size 16's, (American size 12's) being auctioned at eBay today.

See a video of the launch of the Kate Moss Topshop clothing collection here. It's a very skinny Kate Moss in a long red dress briefly flipping her hair in the Topshop storefront window.

Bathroom finished...& No Lap Band problems at KFC

Well here it is.

All that is left to do is put up the venetian blind and get rid of the horrendous grout haze. Also the walls could do with another lick of paint thanks to our friends the tilers and the grouty sponges.

You can see the colours of the tiles behind the sink... well the ones on the right hand wall should be the same, but the tilers went over them again... ARGHH this means I have to once more scrub them until my hands bleed. However, as they were walking out of the door with my cash saying "Yeah, sorry about that love... nothing you can do with these matt finish tiles other than scrub 'em" and smirking, little do they know that I have bought a bottle of sulphamic acid to aid me with this problem... *wicked cackle*

Do you like the granny curtains around the sink and bog? It was the best I could do. It has 2 layers of ballerina tutu material followed by a layer or curtain lining and that's then Velcroed to the shelf and sink itself. Then over the top of that I used a dark grey shimmering voile, ironed it into box pleats with wonder web and whacked that up there as well.

It doesn't look so bad now the bath panel has been cut to size and is back in place and the granny curtains are there to tone the cream and grey horror. It looks 100% better now its all grouted too.

All that is left to do now is live with it. Its not too horrible, but God knows how long the curtains will last because I was being Bob Bodge-It's ugly sister when I was doing it.

Ho hum... better than a hole in the ground.

We went to KFC after picking DS up from Stagecoach (drama school) and I opted for the salsa toasted twister meal. I drank my orange juice first and I very very very slowly ate my twister. I didn't finish all of it, and I have about 6 chips. I didn't get any problems what so ever which was a massive relief.

I am about that have chicken and mushroom pie with veggies for my tea and then we are off bowling. I got 3 strikes last time so I will probably be proper rubbish today. I think that was one of those once in a life time events to be honest.

Foods that make me puke

This will be updated regularly as I discover new foods that make me puke or 'PB' (Productive burping)

Please note that these have caused me grief when I have eaten them 'as is' i.e. not with a sauce or whatever.

1.) Sandwich
2.) Fishcake
3.) Chips - each time I have had them!!!!!!! No more!
4.) Sausage
5.) dry lamb style grill (quorn)
6.) Bagel (plain)

Feeling thin

Today I have been mostly feeling thin.

There was a slight blip when my new swimming costume arrived from Bravissimo. It was £55. That is LOT of money for a cossie. It looked like crud.

I have noticed that my arms are saggy underneath - definitely Gala Bingo wings. But also I have saggy thighs. This is AWFUL. I am going to be this person under a huge amount of saggy, stretched corrugated flappy skin.

You will see what I post my 2 month photo next Wednesday.

But, It has made me look at the positives... I wanted to lose weight, and I can see that I am. I am just getting another new problem to add to the old one. More walking for me.

Anyway, here is a picture of the crackers I love. Great with humous (Tesco's spelling... personally that's how I thought you spelt manure!?).

The bathroom tiling is now complete. They came this afternoon and finished it. I have ordered the grout haze gel to get rid of the urr... grout haze. Its basically sulphamic acid. Sound like fun!

So tomorrow I will make the curtains (like old people have in their homes around a little vanity basins - usually floral with lace) Oh Joy.

*Update*

Today's food.

Breakfast: 1 slice of bread

Lunch: Chicken Tikka Masala (WFF meal)

Dinner: Cheese and pickle sandwich and ginger sponge and custard.

Lap Band 'Productive Burping Incident' Alert

**Cheese and Pickle Sandwich Fiasco**

The cheese and pickle sandwich ended up being mostly thrown up, so I can't quantify how much I acutally ate. I didnt eat any of the crusts... so thats just the middle bit and I was sick 3 times after eating it. So not very much I guess. Dry stuff SO does not agree with me.

Can't be bothered to keep counting

I have decided that I am not going to bother with the whole "x weeks + x days " thing any more.
Its boring me.

I remember when I had DS - "He's 3 days old!"

"Oh, yes he's 6 weeks now"

"Oh yeah, hes 4 months now."

"Yes he is a big boy. Hes nearly 2 now you know!"

etc

etc

As kids grow up we dont say "Oh yes hes 4356 days old today!" do we?

So I am going to be 2 months banded next Wednesday, so I think I am just going to keep track like that from now on. I have progressed as it were. It also means that I will have to give a more enlightening title to my daily piece... and maybe more people might read it. Who knows?

Today has been bleeeeugh

I didn't actually get up until 2:30pm. DS had been doing whatever all day and I felt terrible when he came up and said "Mummy, can I please have some lunch" What a terrible mother. So I got up and we had no bread, so I made us a hot dinner. I felt so tired though. Doing the garden has really taken it out of me. I have absolutely no energy.

DH came home at about 4:00pm and I went back to bed I must admit. I wanted to go to the meeting this evening, so I wanted to feel at least a little better. He let me sleep till 6:30pm and then woke me. I still felt awful, but actually maybe too much sleep makes you feel worse...? I dunno.

I went to the meeting with DS at 7:00pm. I felt grim all through the first half, but the second half I perked up and I was not feeling too bad at all by the end.

I am feeling tired now, although how that is possible, seeing as I've had 18 hours sleep in the last 24, is beyond me.

Today's food has been diabolical. I am really not in the zone at all. I am pining for my old comfort eating. I feel sad about something, I am not sure what, and I just want to resort to type, but I can't. Today I have had a quorn and sweet potato curry, a mini ice cream and 5 ginger biscuits.
Somebody help me. I feel so depressed about eating that. My guilt is driving me insane.

I feel so low, and sluggish. I think I need to get out of the house a bit more and do some exercise, but its a vicious cycle. I just don't feel like it, but I know if I do do it, I will feel better.

I am not sure If I told you that we are having our bathroom tiling finished off... Well the floor tiles are TOTALLY wrong. I hate them. The company that made my beautiful tiles on my walls have gone bust and I could not get the Planets range in Jupiter any more. I could only get Planets in Mercury. Jupiter is a lovely blend of 1 and a half inch mosaic tiles on a sheet with about 5 different colours... all are anti-slip and matt. They are so nice. One of the colours is a kind of grey beige colour, so I ordered Mercury, because it looked the same as this colour. When the delivery driver dropped the new tiles off, I looked at them in the box and they looked fine. It wasn't until I went upstairs and half of them were laid on the floor that I realised what a complete mess up I had made. they are not the same. They are grey... Mercury... suggests the fact huh? So now I have a freaking cream bathroom suite with mocha and cream walls and all kinds of browns and plums and warm autumn tones and a horrible grey clinical hospital floor.

I am devastated. I was so devastated that it made me ill and I could not work yesterday.

That seems such a dramatic thing to do, but honestly it really really damaged me. I spent so much time and effort choosing that bathroom and its been ruined by me too. I should have gone with a completely different tile. What an idiot I am. I will have to live with it. Its cost so much money to look so crap.

Don't get me wrong, its a lovely tile, and with a white bathroom suite and stainless steel and glass fittings and that kind of stuff it would look lush. But I don't have those. I have antique pine skirting and trim and antique pine accessories. It all looks C R U D together.

Well its done. But its left me feeling sick as can be.

I have never felt like this before. I think its because I had such a high expectation.

Writing this is cathartic though. It enables me to get all my grief out and free myself up.

Thanks for listening everyone. I know that its a small deal really in comparisson to other peoples lives. I should be greatful for what I have. Its just that I made a mistake. I hate that.