My thoughts on September 11, 2001

I was replying to the blog The Sierra Home Companion which asked, "Where were you on September 11th?" and the memory just flowed from my fingertips.  I thought I would share my thoughts here and repost my reply:

You're right.  I too will never forget where I was or what I was doing on that day. 


I was pregnant with my 2nd child.  We were in bed when my mother called to tell us the twin towers fell. (I'm ashamed that I didn't know what she was talking about-World Trade Center?) We got up, flipped on the tube and caught the 2nd plane crashing into the tower.  I will never forget that image.


Yes, the next couple of days, the world seemed to stand still.  I don't remember leaving the living room.  I remember wondering what the world held for the future of my children.  We didn't know what would happen next.  Part of me feared, the other part knew I needed to have faith.


I found a patriotism that I never felt before.   As tragic as it all was, Americans stood together like never before.  Suddenly it didn't matter who you were or where you came from.  Nothing mattered because as an American, we were one.  Flags erupted EVERYWHERE.  The mere sight of them found on cars, houses, buildings, you name it, would bring me to tears.  Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, maybe it was the mere shock of the tragic events I watched unfold, maybe I was just patriotic for the first time in my life.    


As much as my heart ached for the families involved, it also swelled with American pride like never before.  September 11th heightened patriotism in America...and I miss it.  America has forgotten.  Maybe not in our hearts, but we have moved on and life has resumed as before.  

Stressed? Me? Maybe just a little.

Does this sound like stress?

I woke up several times last night, thinking about work. Thinking of things I needed to do at work and composing work emails in my head.

I had a nightmare where I was invisible to my husband. He kept calling my name and I was standing right in front of him. I kept saying, "can't you see me?! I'm right here!", as I waved my hands in front of him. He never did see me. I woke up crying.

I went to the gym this morning, worked out for an hour and 15 minutes. Got in my car, drove home, sat in my parked car and had a meltdown. Tears and all. Thinking about work.

I took my shower, but couldn't remember if I put conditioner on my hair, or even if I had shampooed it. I couldn't remember if I had shaved my underarms.

I couldn't remember if I gave my diabetic cat his insulin shot that morning. I pondered about it, but just could not remember. Was that last night or this morning?

As I was driving to work I glanced in the mirror at my hair. I had used hot rollers on it and I had "winglets" (thanks to these crazy layers I have now). I started laughing hysterically at how silly I looked. In my car, by myself.

At about 11am my stomach was rumbling. I suddenly remembered I didn't eat breakfast. I NEVER skip breakfast. It's the highlight of my day. How on earth could I forget breakfast?!

Yes, I'm kind of stressed out these days. I know things will eventually calm down. Things work out one way or another. Somehow. Someday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I actually wrote the above during my 10-minute lunch break today as I shoveled lukewarm soup in my mouth. I didn't have time to head back to our lunch room and heat it a couple more minutes.

My day actually did get better. Things have a way of working out. I think I've calmed down a little and don't feel as freaked out as I did this morning.

Things aren't fabulous at work, but they're definitely better than the past week.

Indian dinner from our garden.

SO dinner time came around tonight like it always does.  Wanting something different, I went to Google and started searching for recipes that had the ingredients I had.

I wanted to create a meal with:

• Eggplant
• Coconut milk
• Garam masala (Spice blend)

This came up in the search: Chicken and Vegetable Curry  To my surprise, the recipe also included tomatoes and zucchini.  A definite WIN since I have so much out in the garden right now. 

What I enjoyed most this dish is that it's full of vegetables and still filling.  Sometimes when we make stir-frys there isn't enough fat or protein to keep me full and I'm left craving for something a few hours later.  This dish is very filling, so a little serving will keep you satisfied until breakfast.  The flavor is subtle and rich, so if you skipped the rice and left out the chicken, it wouldn't be missed.  This recipe is very versatile; we'll probably add more eggplant to it next time since we like it so much.


**Update: It was even BETTER for lunch.  :o)

Negative Calorie Foods: The more you eat, the more you lose weight!

Eat negative calorie foods as much as you want without worrying about weight gain.

Just by eating negative calorie foods, you burn more calories than what you actually consume without worrying about weight gain.

You don't need to count calories, eat less or skip meals to lose weight. You need to know that skipping meals is not good, resulting to a slower metabolism and you'll end up overeating on your next meal as well. Eating less, just as counting calories will make you feel deprived, which may lead you to emotional eating. Just by eating negative calorie foods, you burn additional more calories without worrying about weight gain.

Truth is, there is no "negative calorie foods". The reason why certain foods are referred to as "negative calorie foods" is because the body requires more calories to digest these foods than the calories they contain. The body needs to work harder to breakdown and process these negative calorie foods.

For example, eating a food that requires 200 calories to digest but only contains 100 calories will get your body to use an extra 100 calories to digest it. In other words, you only consumed 100 calories but burnt 200 calories just by eating that food, resulting in a net loss of 100 calories. This way your body is burning up stored body fat.

Negative calorie foods are high in fiber and carbohydrates with very less fat. You already know that eating foods high in fiber makes you feel full longer. Foods high in fiber are very filling and are good for the body; carbohydrates are difficult to break down (the body works harder on carbohydrates so it can use the calories as usable energy), while fats are easily added to our body. So the more you eat negative calorie foods, the more you lose weight!

Some Negative calorie foods include:

1. Spinach
2. Cucumber
3. Beet
4. Berries
5. Lettuce
6. Broccoli
7. Grapefruit
8. Lemon
9. Orange
10. Papaya
11. Turnip
12. pineapple
13. Celery
14. Cauliflower
15. Garlic
16. Carrot
17. Apple
18. Cabbage
19. Zucchini
20. Asparagus

You can add these negative calorie foods in your every day meals and snacks without worrying about calories, to lose weight. So instead of skipping meals, eating less or counting calories, just eat these negative calorie foods and you're on your way to a slim healthy body.

Garden Milkshake

Who doesn't love a thick milkshake made with real, all natural ice cream and blended with fresh fruit?  It's certainly hard to pass up such cool deliciousness on a hot day.  But with intense refreshment also comes high calories.

A way we get around it is to make our own shakes.

In our garden this year, we are growing crenshaw melons.  I grew up with these beautiful fruits and the mere scent brings me back to a time when summers were long and living in a swimsuit didn't phase me.

We use Bryer's Vanilla ice cream.  It's the best!!  All natural without any added gunk means no chemicals or unpronounceable nouns.  Add it to the blender with frozen chunks of crenshaw melon and you have a frothy milkshake with less calories.  Since you are using more melon than ice cream, you significantly reduce the amount of fat and calories while adding a healthy dose of vitamin C.  The flavor is so sweet and intense, you don't miss those calories.

Wait.  You say you've never tasted a Crenshaw melon? Seek one out and dive in!  I promise you won't be disappointed.

Diana the grouch

I'm not in a happy place today. I worked 14 hours yesterday, 7:30 a.m. - 9:30 p.m. Numerous work problems that caused hours of frustration.

We were creating software builds with code written by several developers, including our own code. The code did not play nicely during the builds. My only saving grace was another coworker was there with me for most of it. He has a great sense of humor. So we laughed a lot. Of course we cursed a lot too. Something I don't usually do.

I never made it to the gym yesterday. I barely took bathroom breaks. I don't remember drinking any water, just coffee. My lunch was some homemade soup heated in the microwave and a peach.

Dinner when I got home at 10 p.m. was a Flatout pizza with mushrooms, onions, sundried tomatoes, turkey pepperoni, and 2% cheese which melts really weird. It's like it's dry when it melts. Still really delicious and fairly low Points. I didn't bother figuring it out, but I think it's around 8 Points for the whole thing.

It was a very, very long day.

I am very, very tired today.

After working so many hours I feel sort of numb. I already emailed my work that I'm taking off half of the day and working from home this afternoon.

I have a weird ringing in my ears. I can't figure out what's causing it. Just a humming sound from inside my head. It's very annoying, and it's interrupting my peace and quiet.

If I can get myself moving I'm going to the gym in a few minutes. Although a nap sounds better. A  nap at 9:30 a.m. After sleeping seven hours. I'm just so tired I want to crawl under a rock and stay there forever.

Do I sound kind of crazy today? I feel kind of crazy.

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