Thursday, September 9, 2010

Stressed? Me? Maybe just a little.

Does this sound like stress?

I woke up several times last night, thinking about work. Thinking of things I needed to do at work and composing work emails in my head.

I had a nightmare where I was invisible to my husband. He kept calling my name and I was standing right in front of him. I kept saying, "can't you see me?! I'm right here!", as I waved my hands in front of him. He never did see me. I woke up crying.

I went to the gym this morning, worked out for an hour and 15 minutes. Got in my car, drove home, sat in my parked car and had a meltdown. Tears and all. Thinking about work.

I took my shower, but couldn't remember if I put conditioner on my hair, or even if I had shampooed it. I couldn't remember if I had shaved my underarms.

I couldn't remember if I gave my diabetic cat his insulin shot that morning. I pondered about it, but just could not remember. Was that last night or this morning?

As I was driving to work I glanced in the mirror at my hair. I had used hot rollers on it and I had "winglets" (thanks to these crazy layers I have now). I started laughing hysterically at how silly I looked. In my car, by myself.

At about 11am my stomach was rumbling. I suddenly remembered I didn't eat breakfast. I NEVER skip breakfast. It's the highlight of my day. How on earth could I forget breakfast?!

Yes, I'm kind of stressed out these days. I know things will eventually calm down. Things work out one way or another. Somehow. Someday.

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I actually wrote the above during my 10-minute lunch break today as I shoveled lukewarm soup in my mouth. I didn't have time to head back to our lunch room and heat it a couple more minutes.

My day actually did get better. Things have a way of working out. I think I've calmed down a little and don't feel as freaked out as I did this morning.

Things aren't fabulous at work, but they're definitely better than the past week.

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