The return of hunger

This morning I decided today is really a new beginning, square one, of me on a diet. Yes folks, it's a diet. You may call it a lifestyle change, but to me it is and always will be a diet when I try to lose weight. Lifestyle change sounds pretty and easy and sort of fun...lifestyle, nice word. Diet, on the other hand, has all sorts of negative connotations. Hunger, discomfort, frustration, anxiety, misery, a challenge. I suppose that sounds a bit negative, but I'm just calling it like it is. If it was so darn easy as some people would like us to think then we would all be skinny.

I worked out like a maniac this morning, 30 minutes on the StairMaster and 40 minutes of upper body weights. I pushed myself hard on the weights but I'm not sore yet. I was hoping for some triceps soreness with the 25-pound dumbell tricep presses. Maybe tomorrow. I define a good workout with a touch of soreness now and then, especially when I push myself like today.

My food had been good, with every bite weighed, measured, documented. 1,485 calories. It sounds like a lot to me, but it's almost exactly what I was eating following Weight Watchers Point system (I'm still in Weight Watchers, just trying the calorie counting for a while). The water has been extra good today. 117 ounces and one mug of coffee. I forgot how much all the water helps with the hunger.

About the hunger, yes, I've been hungry today. It's part of the diet, it's what happens when you cut back on your calories. My sister and I have said for years that hunger is a good thing. It means you're burning fat and losing weight.

Funny thing is that I've seen other bloggers posting about hunger recently. Allan had a good post about it today. I've noticed some people never talk about hunger. From reading their blogs it appears they never actually get hungry. They're few and far between but I've decided maybe they just feel things differently than the rest of us. They're very lucky because hunger isn't fun, but for some of us fatties, it's just a fact of life if we want to lose weight we're going to have to experience a  certain level of hunger.

It's almost 11pm and I would call this one of my best days of staying on plan in weeks. I'm very tired, ready to hit the pillow.

A Motivational Weight Loss Story Video

Ryan lost 135 pounds in 13 months with diet and exercise. He went from 308 pounds to 173.

Someone had told him he could change a habit in 21 days. Within 21 days he had lost 18 pounds. This motivated him to keep going. Within five months he lost 100 pounds. He gets up at 4:45am each morning to exercise. See his very motivational video here.
Check out his story at his website Ryan in Boise.

Ricotta Cheesecakes with Berries & Pecans

Ingredients:

• 2 cups fat-free ricotta cheese
  
  


• 1 cup (8 oz) light cream cheese
  
  


• ½ cup fat-free plain Greek yogurt
  
  


• ½ cup maple syrup
  
  


• 1 large whole egg
  
  


• 2 large egg whites
  
  


• 2 tsp vanilla extract
  
  


• 1½ cups fresh barriers
  
  


• 2 tbsp chopped toasted pecans
  
  


• Fresh mint sprigs
  
  

Preparation:

• Preheat oven to 325 F. Lightly coat 3 mini-muffin pans (12 muffins each pan) with olive oil cooking spray and set aside.
  
  


• Combine ricotta, cream cheese, yogurt, syrup, egg, egg white, and vanilla extract in blender or food processor. Blend or process just until smooth. Divide batter among prepared pans. Batter will come to tops of cups.
  
  


• Bake 20 minutes. Cool completely, then chill. It is normal for the cheesecakes to fall.
  
  


• Place 3 cakes on each plate. Sprinkle each serving with berries and nuts, and garnish with springs of mint.
  
  

Make 12 (3 cheesecakes) Servings:

Weight Loss Recipes Amount per Serving: 140 Calories, 8 g Protein, 16 g carbohydrates, 3 g Fiber, 5 g fat, 3 g saturated fat, 35 mg cholesterol, 125 mg sodium

A walk down memory lane

I'm typing this from my 1998 Dell desktop computer, Windows 2000. My beautiful, less than a year old Toshiba laptop hasn't been playing nice with my 23" monitor. I even bought a new monitor and new $40 HDMI cable for it, both big monitors are still red flashing lines at me. The laptop monitor is fine. I finally caved and asked my husband, the computer geek guy, to look at it. Something about the HDMI port on the laptop. Needs to be repaired. I have to take it in to the computer guys to be fixed. Bummer.

Since I can't live without a computer with a big monitor (for work stuff), I thought I'd turn on my old faithful 12-year old Dell. I hadn't really used it since my first laptop in 2004. Amazingly it booted up, connected to the internet and works with the new monitor. The grinding sound the hard drive keeps making is annoying me, but it works. Gotta love old technology.

I was looking at all the old files that I never bothered to transfer over to my laptops. Apparently I was much more career-driven in 2004. There are tons of work files, work goal setting documents and very few pictures. I found two pictures of myself sitting on the desktop.

2004 - 240 pounds

June 28, 2009 - 156 pounds (I think I added this one when my old laptop was dying last year).

So where am I today? Sitting right where I've been for months. 175 pounds. Sixty-five pounds less than the top picture but 20 pounds heavier than the bottom picture (and I still thought I was fat at 156).

The reason I haven't been posting is because I've been in a slump lately. Just sick and tired of the whole thing, yet each day I start out full of hope that this will be the day I stay totally on plan, drink my water, and lose weight. Yet each day I fail. Not horribly because I'm not gaining weight, but still, I'm failing because I'm not losing weight.

These pictures stirred something up in me. A little bit of sadness that I didn't stick with it and get to goal. A bit of hope that heck, I did it before and got so close that I can do it again. A little bit of fear, looking back where I started and what IF I go back there?

I've printed both pictures and stuck them on the bathroom mirror. A visual reminder of where I've been, and where I want to go, but this time go even a step further and get to goal.

In other words, I'm back!

Jogging to Lose Weight

Ben is six foot tall and used to weigh 360 pounds. Within 10 months of starting his goal to lose weight he was down to 220 pounds. Check out his inspiring story at his site. Here is an excerpt;

My name is Ben Davis. On December 25th, 2008, I decided to get my life together. I weighed 360 pounds and was a miserable person.

Then I started jogging.
Then did a 5K.
The pounds started falling off.
I ran a 10K.
And a sprint triathlon.
Then I did a half-marathon.
I kept losing weight.
And kept running.
Then I did a full marathon.
I decided to keep going.
Then I did an Ironman.

If you want to do something with your life, if you really want to do it, just do it. I promise that you can. You just have to do it. And when you do, you’ll be happier for it.

Mini Apple Gingerbread Cupcakes

Ingredients:

• 2 cups stone-ground whole wheat flour
  
  


• 1 tsp baking soda
  
  


• ¼ tsp salt
  
  


• 2 tsp ground ginger
  
  


• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
  
  


• ¼ tsp ground cloves
  
  


• ¼ tsp ground nutmeg
  
  


• ⅔ cup low-fat buttermilk
  
  


• ½ cup molasses
  
  


• ⅓ cup canola oil
  
  


• 1 large egg
  
  


• 1 large egg white
  
  


• 1 tsp vanilla extract
  
  


• 1 cup finely chopped apple (sweet apple such as Fuji or Delicious, not Granny Smith)
  
  

Preparation:

• Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly coat 30 mini-muffin cups with olive oil cooking spray. Set aside.
  
  


• Combine flour. Baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg in medium mixing bowl. Set aside.
  
  


• Whisk buttermilk, molasses, oil, egg, egg white, and vanilla extract in another bowl. Make a well in dry ingredients and pour in liquid mixture. Stir until just combined.
  
  


• Divide batter between prepared muffin pans (there will be about 3 cups of batter).
  
  


• Bake on center rack 15 minutes, or until wooden pick inserted in muffin comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans.
  
  

Make 30 Servings:

Weight Loss Recipes Amount per Serving: 70 Calories, 1 g Protein, 10 g carbohydrates, 1 g Fiber, 2 g fat, 0 g saturated fat, 0 mg cholesterol, 90 mg sodium

Polenta Cornbread

Nothing tastes as good as homemade, nothing.  I've always made cornbread from scratch.  A few years back, we discovered a new way of making it by accident.

One evening for dinner, I went to the fridge to grab the corn meal.  I didn't have enough for the recipe so I announced that we wouldn't be having it.  My oldest daughter asked if we could use polenta instead since it was dried corn. At first I thought that was a crazy idea.  They are two totally different ingredients, right? Nope.  Both are corn meal, poleta is just ground less, it's courser.  If you want to see what I mean, compare the two meals.

Due to the courser corn meal, the bread has a little chew to it.  I'll never go back to regular corn meal for our bread.

San Francisco Polenta Bread 

1 Cup Flour

1 Cup Polenta

3 Teaspoons Baking Powder

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

1/4 Cup Sugar

1 Cup Milk

1/4 Cup Oil

1 Egg, Beaten

Preheat oven to 425' F.  Place all ingredients in mixing bowl and blend.  Pour into 8in square pan and bake 20-25 minutes or until brown.  May also be baked in muffin tins.  Serves 6.

(From the side of the Golden Pheasant Brand Polenta bag)