Another day in the life of me.

TODAYS CALS 817

SPELL CHECKER STILL NOT WORKING. SORT IT OUT BLOGGER PEOPLE!!!

Today I felt really lazy, but got up with DH and then just bummed around on the computer and doing loads of washing. Spent just over 2 hours on the phone to my Mum too. How cool are free phone calls!!

Breakfast:
1 weetabix with skimmed milk

Lunch:
1 yoghurt
1 snack egg... like a scotch egg, but much smaller and with egg mayo inside. Yum

Snack:
1 Yoghurt

Dinner:
3 tablespoons of pilau rice
3 ounzes of chicken breast
1 tablespoon green lentils
1/4 onion
1/5th Jar of Yellow thai curry sauce (Loyd Grossman)

(this is such a SMALL meal. COOOOOOOL!)

Evening snack:
1/2 box raspberries (100g) and skimmed milk.

total cals today 817!!! WICKED

Totally full, totally satisfied. OH GOOD GRIEF ITS

Wait for it....

ACTUALLY WORKING

YEAH

At flamin' last! I am so happy. This is totally different than I have ever felt before. I have not had a single PB, or any pain or sickness at all. I am HAVING to take at least 30 minutes to finish my meal, but I am serving myself at least half of what I normally have, if not less than half. I am seriously chewing. Chewing is not the word. I am actually eating the tiniest bites and chewing them over about 50 times. Its getting to be quite enjoyable as it seems like I am eating for ages!!

I was self restricting after the bodge up of my last band, and practically psyching myself out of my brain to believe it was true and that I really did have restriction.

Now I HAVE restriction for SURE!!

This time, I am not thinking about food for large amounts of the day. I truly feel great. I feel as full and comfortable after my meal as I would had I been able to stop when I was full before banding. I feel no different to how I used to feel on a sunday roast. I didnt ever use to stuff my guts to bursting. I just ate until I was full and I had had enough. Sadly it was too darn much. But I feel EXACTLY the same as If I had had as much as I used to have had, except that obviosuly I have changed the portion sizes dramatically because I dont feel pressure to eat more.

Oh I really cant explain how different this is to, like, 3 days ago even!!!! Honestly, there was a significant difference then, but I was still being a dumb bastard and not thinking in the right way, and maybe even trying to check that the band really was there.

Yesterday really was a wake up. I am so HAPPY that I puked up coffee. WOW. This band is skill.

I dont even feel pressure to weigh myself because I feel so great, and I KNOW I am eating correctly and without any problems or bad feelings or guilt or feeling hungry and deprived. This is going to work, and I am getting my enthusiasm and trust back, little by little, day by day.

Oh my goodness, I do hope so much that I am not talking too soon and stuff, but I can feel the difference and its made me feel completely blissful.

After nearly 1 year - YEP 2 DAYS UNTIL MY 1 YEAR BANDIVERSARY, its finally JUST yesterday started working. I really am a year behind. That is so shit. But hey, its doing the thing now and BRING IT ON!

Want to say Hi to Erika and Bunk Mate, Erika, I am loving all your comments, they are really inspiring me, especially as we kind of started this journey together and you are now so far on in your success. Keep going babe, you are an inspiration. And Bunk Mate, Hey honey, I hope you are Ok. I am so glad I met you and we truly did start this HELL/HAPPINESS together! I hope that you have heard from 'the company' about your band problem too, and they have sorted you out... but I am guessing you are still hanging on otherwise I would have heard from you. Either that or you are off on a caribbean cruise on the cash!! HA HA! ;o)

Anyway, love and hugz to both of yaz

Thanks to everyone else for reading my blog. I hope it helps someone somewhere someday.

How to Eat More Fruit: Try Fruit Treats

Here's a fruit that I've maybe only bought once in my life. It's the pomegranate (also known as Chinese apple). Inside are hundreds of pretty kernels, each with a tiny seed surrounded by ruby red pulp. These kernels can be eaten, seeds and all, and they're great sprinkled in salads. You can also press the kernels for juice and strain out the seeds. Wear an apron when working with pomegranates; the juice can stain your clothes.

The pomegranate is not in season now, but check out the beautiful tropical fruits page at the Cook's Thesaurus for more great ideas to diversify away from the more boring apples and bananas.

Weigh in day - & problem with drinking...

TOTAL CALORIES TODAY
813

The spell checker on blogger is STILL not working... so bear with my spelling errors if there are any.

Well, todays scales were kind but not gratuitous.

I lost 1 pound this week. 17 stone 3 pounds... So I am very close to my goal of being in the 16's and also to losing 1 stone (14lbs)

I expect that a day of fluids and nice big fill will go some way to sorting both of those out though! Hee hee.

Today's intake so far...

Breakfast:
2 coffee's

Mid morning:
1 can of potato and leek soup (pureed) 200 cals

Lunch:
20g end of packet granola soaked totally in milk and chewed to death

Then some wierd stuff happened.

Its important to note that I felt completely fine after everything I ate. Completely. I had the granola because I was hungry and needed something more filling than soup. Its not sugar loaded, its whole grain and was literally the end of the packet... so like dusty stuff stuff with a few barley grains etc...

However, I can only equate what happened later to having eaten that.

At about 1pm I went to bed for a lie down and to read my book. I took a coffee up with me and DH was playing with DS and the inevitable happened. I fell asleep.

I was so worn out from yesterdays rushing about that I hadnt wanted to get up this morning, especially since I am on holiday too! But DH had to take his car in to be re sprayed after someone smashed into it. So I am not suprised because I have been feeling tired all day. I was so tired I ended up sleeping until 4:30! DH came into the bedroom and said he was taking DS fishing and I woke up and thought I must get up anyway. So remembering my coffee on the side I took a few slurps. Nothing excessive, just the same old normal way I always do.

I noticed something unusual immediately. It felt strange. like I was eating, not drinking. I took another slurp and sat there in the bed 'listening' to my body gurgle, glug, tiny burp and feel like I do when I eat to much. I grabbed for my tub I keep for used tissues and facial wipes and dummped the litter on the floor and promptly sicked up at least 2 mouthfuls of the coffee!!!

I sat there some more... and then some.

I felt odd.

I got up and came downstairs and wandered about but there was still more to come up, and I threw the rest of the coffee up in the sink.

I can't believe this. Its really strange, especially as it was about 4 hours since I had had any food.

Even though it was about an hour after I ate it... I think that its probably a combination of eating something likely to swell and then going and having a lie down.

I made sure that it truly was like milk with bits... but obviously it didnt pass through my stoma and was still in my pouch when I woke up... When will I learn. I guess now.

I swear that if the operation had not gone wrong I would not be experiencing these problems. I seem to need to test my band, even feel like I dont believe its there.

Because I had fills with a broken band, and never had a problem not doing the fluid stage of my fill... but thats because there was NO POINT. I have to get it into my head that there IS a point now. I really have a working band and I have to DO AS I AM TOLD.

I know its probably obvious to everyone else, but its truly not a concious decision.

I will try and have a drink in an hour and see what happens.

I havent taken my tablets yet today, so getting a bit stressed about that. I will take them with jam, even thought they are AWFUL without their capsule just incase.

I will of course update this disaster.

Well I waited an hour and took those little packets of calpol slowly. I thought trying to take a paracetamol with water was not a good idea, so I just sat and sipped my way through 4 packets of strawberry calpol. Yum.

Then after no problems I made a coffee. I had a few sips. No problems. Another couple - also no probs. I then decided, mad or not, to take my prozac whole. I swallowed it with the coffee and there was no problem at all.

At 6pm I started cooking dinner. I wasnt hungry but the hounds had started gathering asking me what we were having. I cooked chicken breast on a bed of onion, garlic and passata in the oven. Also used up the rest of a packet of roast mediteranean veg and added a bit more courgette. I boiled some potato too.

On my plate I decided to be really good. I put one cube of the chicken (about a 1/4 breast) with some of the passata/onion sauce, 1 boiled potato (slightly smaller than an egg) and 1 tablespoon of roast veg.

All present commented on this meagre portion and were laughing at it. I thought - well If I want more, then I can have more, but lets not start off the wrong way. So I told them to shut up and we all sat down to eat.

I was finished after 30 minutes. Everyone else ate 4 times the amount I did and also finished before me. I was NOT hungry. I was NOT bloated, but I was full. I still am full nearly an hour later.

I can feel the food still there and I feel quite content.

I chewed that food some darn much. I even hawked a little bit back before it slipped down my throat because it had a little lump in it. It was all paste as it went down. I did not have a single episode of pain, pressure or have to wait. I just ate in itty bitty bites and took my time finishing each mouthful thoroughly as I went. I am a happy girl.

God, I so hope this is it for me. I am going to work my arse off to be good and lose this weight. It was a really good experience for me to pb on coffee!!! I mean - COFFEE!!! Jeeez! Who would have thought that? But it showed me how powerful this little bit of silicone is and if I dont do it properly now I am gonna end back in hospital with a slip or errosion or something awful.

I am gonna do this thing people. I will be posting pics of my food intake from now on. I am trying to stick to three meals daily, so today has been perfect.

Soup, cereal and chicken + veg. Cool.

I have had a lot of coffee though. I am pretty aware of that, and I am oing to experiment a little with fruit tea and stuff, but I am sorry to say that I do love my coffee. Its not instant either... ooops. But hey! Its thats the only vice I end up with stuff it.

Take it easy peeps.

Fill Number... umm.... 3

So today I had fill number 3.

I got 1 ml straight in there. YAHOO!
I now have 6.1mls FOR SURE in my non-leaking, non blood stained, totally bubble free WORKING band!

But it means that my secret devilish plans will not come off.
I had schemed to have the free second half of my fill today as I was promised 4 weeks ago, (+ 0.6mls), then wave bye bye and go to Dr. De Bruyne on Thursday for a little bit more.

Fiendish huh?

Mwahhahah

Yeah, didnt happen. The woman sees like a gazillion people or something, so she simply asked me why I was here and if I was there for a review. Gulp. She didnt remember...

*frantically dig through my vocabulary to jog her mind about the free top up she was gonna give me*

I told her and, as I was rapidly begining to think, free top ups must happen within 2 weeks. I was in Hungary (and had told her when I was there last time - but didnt bother pushing it) and just decided to take what was chucked at me. So this time I was told £85 for a fill (cool!!) and urged again to take out their programme which is about £1200 for unlimited access to fills/dietician etc for a year. Hmmm. I want to go for it, but its a lot of cash to stump up when I can have it adhoc every time for £85.

I was a bit miffed thinking I was gonna get 0.6mls which seems such a poxy amount, and she asked me the usual questions and popped a whole 1 ml in. So maybe it worked out for the best?

Basically I have the same outcome as if I had had 0.6 for free, then 0.5 from De Bruyne. Infact I am probably better off because I saved the train fair too! Cool.

My weight according to their scales was 109.6kg Last time it was 110.2. so I have lost about 2 pounds. I hate weighing after a days food though. I know 1 litre of water weighs a lot, so I prefer to weigh in the mornings. But at least by her scales I am coming down. I wont be adding this to the running total as I prefer to keep it to monday mornings (Tomorrow!! Ha ha)

Todays food?

This morning I had a bowl of Quaker Granola with raspberries and skimmed milk

Lunch I had a 3/4 snack sized pork pie and prawns in cocktail sauce, avocado, tomato and spinach salad - the amount being about the size of a large orange all together.

I also had some Yop, a yoghurt drink.

Then I had the fill, and since that I have had 2 coffee's.

So here we go again. 3 days of fluids, 3 days mushies and go slowly on the solids. feel really like I am getting somewhere now. I feel like 6.1 mls is going to give me a good restriction where I feel fuller for longer as I think that was the main problem. I was getting hungry, too hungry, before the particular meal time and then eating too fast when I got to have it.

Once hunger is under control I should be in a better position to fight the flab.

Lets just say, I can feel the coffee. Its not sitting there, but its gurgling for sure. Cool.
This is a totally different feeling to ANY I have had before.

Rhonda Loses 20 Pounds

Rhonda is 36 years old. She is 5'4" and has wanted to bring her weight down to the 120's for a long time. She recently accomplished her goal by losing 20 pounds and going from 143 to 123 pounds.

She did this by starting a regular and rigorous walking program. She walks four or five days a week around the neighborhood and this saves her the commuting time to the gym. It took her four months to lose twenty pounds. See her story here.

The photo here is Walking in the Rain by clairity.

Ok, I'm getting on the wagon

Right, I feel like shit if I eat chocolate or wine.

I feel shit if I dont.

So I am better off feeling shit doing something RIGHT than doing something wrong.

I am not going to drink wine unless I am on holiday. I know I go away a lot, but I am not going away until June now - Malta YAY! - so thats a good long time.

I am not going to buy CHOCOLATE, ICE CREAM, CAKE, CRISPS AGAIN!

EVER.

It tempts me. I hear them calling. I have to stop being such a stupid COW.

I am just going to be a normal person from now on.

Promise

**********
Been to work today, had a banana for breakfast. Had a couple of cups of cofee whilst out and about, and then came home to sort the house out.

We have re-arranged the house to fit in the new lodger (hey its worth it for £200 a month!) and put the computers and stuff in the dining area and moved the piano up a bit. Basically all we have done is squeezed in a desk. Esentially the room looks the same and still feels spacious, which was what I was worried about.

I am glad we sold all the books though, otherwise I have NO IDEA where we would have put all our junk! The shelves in the utility room are now full with OUR books and stuff and actually it looks great. It looks liek we are all really clever and into reading hardcore non fiction books about artists and biology and applied physics etc! HA

These are all the books I kept from College years ago that I just cant bear to throw away or sell because DS might need them.

Lunch was a banana too...

Tired and emotional

Today has been ok...
breakfast... nothing
Lunch... chicken soup - made from the roast chicken at the weekend and some onion etc.
Dinner... bacon and onion steamed roly poly pud (yep, suet and flour and all things BAD!) with leeks and cabbage.

Initially had a load of trouble with the pudding. I had to puke up 2 mouthfuls of leeks/cabbage because it wasnt playing ball. If I am too hungry I find everything sticks really bad.

So after that, I was able to eat one slice (about size of deck of cards) of bacon pudding, 1 tablespoon of leeks and 2 tablespoons of cabbage.

Then this evening I ate 1 whole large bar of dairy milk and a bottle of red wine.

WHY? I dont know. I just feel shit.