Yawn... the last few days of work

Groan... Only a few more days of work. Its pretty scant to be honest. I have 3 today and on Friday I have only 5 and then Saturday I just have 2 and that's it for the summer. YAY!
The piano exam results should be with me shortly, so that's a dreaded wait, but they always do really well.

I have to figure out a way of not doing Ryan for the summer. His mum caught me on the hop and said "Yeah, I would like him to carry on through the summer as he really likes it" and I wasn't concentrating enough to get my act together and say that I stop for the holidays.
I really don't want to do any lessons at all through the summer, as I can never relax and just chill out. I always have to be thinking about whats on next week, or got to be back in time for this or that... and its the only time I can really kick back. Even when I was on holiday in Sri Lanka I was thinking about work.. "How far are the exams away, did I book that pupil in for this or that bla bla..." So although I was chilled, it was only because I was out of the country. Its nice to relax and chill out here in blighty for a while too.

We do live in a beautiful country, but we never get to see it. Instead we have to drag our bums half way around the world just to stop for a second and appreciate someone Else's country.

I have tickets to Legoland and I want to go to the National portrait gallery again and maybe the Museum of London. I loved it there.

Anyway, today I have had 2 slimfast shakes, 1 apple and 1 snack bar. I am pretty hungry to be honest. I am looking about for food, so I bought some fizzy water, which Dr. Dovey told me I could drink in moderation to fill up a bit. Hopefully it will do the trick, but not give me too much wind.

Wind is a problem. I do seem to fart loads and belch loads after drinking too... That never used to happen. Well ... maybe the farts did :o)

Off to work in a bit. DS has made a pineapple upside down cake to take to kids club with him this afternoon. thank goodness he didn't make it for us, otherwise I would be nibbling bits of it for sure!

Still desperately clinging to plan... need some motivation.... but don't want to get on the scales just yet because its pointless. I will ring TB and have a chat to her.

*Stomach lurches* I can smell Pineapple cake cooking.. *Groan!*

UPDATE
Well I battled with myself and resisted phoning in sick. I would only have felt guilty and not enjoyed my free time, and as a bonus for not cancelling I got an extra £28 that I had forgotten that someone owed me! YAY. If I hadn't gone until September they might have forgotten too! So it pays off.

I am going to formulate a plan over the next couple of days to get myself together, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I feel really dead in the water to be honest.

I am in a bit of a downward spiral in attitude to the rest of the whole wide world. I am in a bit of a 'ME' place where I am only bothered with myself, my husband, my son and my mates TB and TB's husband and family. I know that sounds well harsh, but I cant seem to function outside of that circle at the moment...

I want to be here at home, or at TB and her husbands house. I only want to spend time with DH or DS and them. I feel a little bit fragile and I don't really know why. Its very cathartic to write this blog, and I am glad I have kept doing it actually.

so I am basically neglecting things a little. I am neglecting my other Friends, and other opportunities to get together, and I am not sure why.

I need to figure it out.

Anyway, regards Lap Band... Hmmm let me see.
Todays consumption consists (in order) of the following

5:30am - 2 bananas = 216
9:30 am - tesco ultra slim = 220
11:30 - xtra bar + apple = 124 +60
2:14ish - handful of Polish snack called Flips - approx 33 grams = 100 cals
2:30 - Ultra slim = 220
3:30 - 4 slices of white bread with butter and jam = 450
8:30 - lamb dinner from WFF = 268
10:30 - Ultra slim = 220

Daily total: 1878 cals - PHEUGH!!!!!!!!!

I seem to be getting increasingly STARVING hungry. I could not deal with the lack of food and gave in to bread and jam.

:o(

I am going to try to implement a new strategy...
...try and suppress my cravings in three simple steps--drink more water, get an adequate amount of sleep, and eat low-calorie filler foods in place of snacks.

Also, I have contacted Cisca at www.obesitycare.co.uk for an appointment to see Dr. Dovey again. This will be fill number 5. BUT - that is if there was any saline in there from Dr. Dodgy (aka Clayson)

I should not be hungry, I should feel a gurgle, I should feel satisfied. I don't.

This week I have tried my VERY best to not eat too much. I am only at the end of day 3 of this plan... it feel like FOREVER. I mean it. I am constantly looking at the clock to see when I can next gobble something. I HATE THIS.

I know I am supposed to have some will power, and I do, but COME ON! I know loads of bandsters now... none of them feel like me. I feel like I am going insane. I have images of the band hanging loose around me. I just wish I had had the Bypass. I would be so much further along the road to bintness.

I mean, I have put on 7 pounds in a month... a lot of it my fault from over eating... BUT isn't the band supposed to STOP me from doing just that??

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Anyway,
solved the swimming pool problem I think. Famous last words. We will have a GREEN pool as of tomorrow. Great. But its better than black I guess. I could have saved myself a hell of a lot of hassle, but there we go. We shall see if solution #346 works.

I will keep ya posted.