Virtual me at 18 stone 12

ME RIGHT NOW 16 stone 3Virtual me at target weight of 11 stone 7lb
I need these boosts occasionally. I have been really really bad the last week or so. I haven't eaten over 1500 cals on any day, but its all been crap. I have tried to include my veggies and stuff, but my Dad's operation and situation is really taking its toll on my eating. I don't even bother to try and stop myself. I look at chocolate and just eat it. Its like I am resigned to it.

Bunk mate - I am sorry I haven't been in touch. I was calling around all the rest of the afternoon trying to tie up a fill with Dr. Dillemans. Sadly he is on holiday next week so its not gonna happen. However if you phone EOC they have now got a new deal with www.WLSgroup.com and they have spaces on the 5th April... that's next Saturday. The first is a consultation and stuff for £120 for EOC patients, and then fills are £85 a go. You can go there every 2 weeks, and if its not right within that 2 weeks you can get it filled/unfilled again for free. I was already going to see them the last couple of times, so I have booked another appointment with them on Saturday at 12pm. If you wing EOC they will arrange a time. After that we were going to take DS to the Natural History Museum if you wanna bring Your DH and the DD's.

It would be nice to catch up.

I have just come home from Mum's. Tensions are running high and everyone needs Dad to get better. He has really been going through it the last few days. The stuff they never tell you about before an operation man!

Here's a run down... (If you are queasy... don't read!)

Tuesday: in Hospital in the morning. Enema's and nothing to eat or drink

Wednesday: in hospital waiting for operation first thing in the morning... and waiting... and waiting until 3pm when he was finally taken down to theatre. Out of theatre and into the Intensive Care Unit at 8:30pm. No visitors all day. Had tumor removed from rectum, bowel cut and hole cut into the side of stomach. Bowel pushed through stomach wall and secured with a plastic rod and wing nuts making 'the stoma' where he will wear a bag over for the next 8 weeks. Reality is this 7cm round red raw bit of gooey meat hanging out his side. Massive 40cm incision vertically from breast to pubis stapled together and covered with dressings. 8 cannula's in various parts of the body... back of hands, arms, neck etc. Drain on opposite side of the stomach leaking blood into a bag, and a catheter for urine.

Yea Gods.

Thursday: In hospital in High Dependency Unit. Blood pressure raised and very bloated from surgery. In obvious pain and wincing at ever couple of words he said.

Friday: In normal hospital ward. Developed chest infection and having to cough up sputum into a pot. in pain. Epidural dosage doubled by his surgeon as he said its not high enough for him (2 days too late me thinks!!). Not in pain except when coughing. Was very sick after having first 'meal' of an ice cream and soup. Brought up green and black fluid.

Saturday: in ward looking flushed. All cannula's removed except one administering a drip with antibiotics in it. Epidural removed because if fell out during the night and soaked into the sheets. Was in increasing pain, doctor called to administer Morphine. Immediately unconscious and slept all night. In the morning awoke to feeling very bad stomach pains. Nurse inserts tube through the nose and down back of the throat and draws off 6 large syringes of green and black watery liquid. Apparently this has FECAL matter in it as the bowel stoma is swollen and everything is backing up into the stomach again! Tube left down back of throat to drain waste water and faeces from stomach into a bag. No food allowed, just clear liquids... like water.

On top of all this awfulness my Granny throws a fit and gets in a strop about not being picked up because we are obviously a taxi service. She upsets my Mum, and in turn Me, DH and DS. She should be supporting my Mum not making herself another burden. My Mum doesn't know which way to turn.

We have come home now and hopefully she can then have some peace and quiet and space to get her head around everything. Although she obviously loves having us there... 3 extra bodies makes 3 lots of extra mess and bother and DS is boisterous and jumping up and down. Its not conductive to thinking straight!! If she needs me, I will be there in a blink. I think that the thing she needs most now is to just be thinking about herself and Dad for a bit and being able to do what she wants rather than what everyone else wants for a change. Everyone worries about the person in the hospital bed, but no one really gives much support to the one trying to keep everything together and cheer everyone up and keep everyone's spirits up.

So, when I have more news I will post it. A simple operation it was not. This is one horrible nasty little cancer that hopefully has been stopped in its tracks.

Poor Dad. I would rather do this for him myself if I could.