Monday, March 3, 2008

Weigh in day yahoo!

Ta Da!
Drum roll please...

I lost 3 pounds this week!! Oh yeah!

That takes my total weightloss since banding in February 2007 to 20 pounds, and MORE IMPORTANTLY 18 pounds since it was fixed on November 9th 2007.

YES YES YES YES YES 16 stone 8 pounds.

I think I can honestly say that since it has been fixed many things have dawned on me.

Things that I thought were impossible became like a light at the end of a tunnel, and then quickly disappeared when my band broke. I felt like a complete screw up. Finding out that it was broken after such a long time made me cry with joy because it let me dare the believe that it wasn't actually my fault.

Since it has been fixed...

I know what a 'proper' fill should feel like
I know a fill is nothing to be scared shitless of.
I know that at 5.1ml I had more restriction than I had EVER had
I know what 6.1ml feels like
I know what proper restriction feels like
I know when to stop eating
I know that I must sit down and be 'involved' in my eating
I now know why everyone says "chew chew chew" or "spew spew spew!"
I know what its like to lose weight every week when you find the correct restriction.
I know what it feels like to not be in pain EVERY day
I know that a lot of people have faulty bands
I know that I am not a failure
I know that I will reach my goal
I know I already feel better emotionally and physically
I know that I cannot over-eat any more.
I know that my band breaking was the WORST thing that could ever have happened
I know that sticking with it was the correct thing to do
I know that the band is the best tool in the world for me
I know that this band is changing my life
I know that I love my band like crazy

Oh my, oh my... within 2 weeks I will be hitting the mark where I am the lowest I have ever been. I could actually cry with joy. The lowest I got before my band broke back in May 2007 was 16 stone 3. That means just 5 more pounds until I reach my first HUGE milestone.
Cooooool. Bring it on!

**Update**
Todays cals: 560
100g boiled rice
1/2 can chicken curry
1 sausage
1 helping peas
1 tbsp mashed potatoes

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