Sunday, May 13, 2007

Post Eurovision chill down

I apologise for a particularly long and bitchy post.

Its all about eurovision... so you don't have to bother reading it if you don't wanna.

Well. That was the most crap eurovision I have ever watched. I thought the presenters were shocking and the humour in the little Finnish interludes between the entries were disturbingly tragic and childish for such a lovely nation.

I have also never witnessed so much shameless political voting in my life. Yes, I know it always happens, but I watch this every year ok. Seriously... I print the score card and everything. I actually love the show - well used to love it.

I am appalled that Serbia won. It was a miserable song with strange dancing and touchy strokey girls prancing about in imperial German wear or some utter rubbish. The singer her/himself looked like a cross between Penfold from Dangermouse and Jimmy Cranky and it was outstanding simply because it was bad.

The trouble is you have 13 or 14 former eastern block/commie states including their mother ship nation Russia all voting for each other. The rest don't stand a chance to be fair.

I must admit there were some pretty random votes from the western countries to countries i SERIOUSLY doubt anyone watching phoned in a voted for. I mean COME OFF IT! There should be some way where we can view the call breakdown because I think its boll***s to be honest.

I have just been looking at a website (www.songcontestvoting.com/eurovision) that gave the predictions based on who 'fans' thought was going to win.


Here is the line up:
1st. Serbia
2nd. Turkey
3rd. Greece
4th. Georgia
5th. Ukraine

Check out my predictions based solely from watching the show and marking dance/outfit/performance/song:
1st. Russia 12pts
2nd. Sweden 10pts
3rd. Hungary 8pts
4th. Greece 7pts
5th. Latvia 6pts
6th. Slovenia 5pts
7th. Finland 4pts
8th. Spain 3pts
9th. Belarus 2pts
10th. Moldova 1pt

Heres the actual 'winners'

1st Serbia (WTF???)
2nd Ukraine
3rd Russia
4th Turkey
5th Bulgaria


Now take a look at the what the site says about how they got their predictions:

"They could only vote once and, where possible, were prevented from voting for their own country. Results were converted to Eurovision scores (1-12). If eligible countries didn't vote in the poll then we tried to fill in the gaps using data from our main survey on which countries they were 'most likely' to vote for.



So as you can see its all a load of Boll**ks. Serbia's song, Molitva, was apparently a heartfelt plea to an estranged lover with religious overtones. The obviously religious Serifovic said she would celebrate her victory with 'litres' of white wine. A nice Christian thing to do... go and get wrecked. "I can't lie to God as I kneel down and pray. You're the love of my life," cried Serifovic as five bouffant backing singers touched her back in support.
The dancing was like a slow-motion lesbian porn film.

Unfortunately the singer Jimmycranky/Penfold aka Marija Serifovic has an unusual resemblance to a particularly horrid Slovakian by the name of Ivana which made the whole thing even more unpleasant for me.

Here is a picture of Ivana drawn by my sister sophi and then a pic of Maria...




Hmmm I forget which one is which now. Maybe they are cousins or something.

The man about to be dunked is Ivana's boyfriend. Poor poor thing.




Anyway, here is a GENUINE result from this houses jury...





This was my rough draft of the score card...
I shall not be watching another eurovision.
And finally, a quote from http://www.clickpress.com/releases/Detailed/34098005cp.shtml

"Furthermore most fans either don’t think ‘neighbourly’ voting exists or that it’s just a bit of fun. Only 28% of UK respondents (and 24% overall) thought suspect voting patterns were reducing the contest to a farce."

SHUT UP!! Serbia was awarded the competition's maximum score by five of its eight neighbours.

These are obviously NOT fans because eurovision is now BLATANT and SHAMELESS neighbourly political voting and IS a complete farce.

I am sad to say this was my last Eurovision. Its too difficult for me to watch it anymore because it simply isn't a true reflection of the song/act/dance/outfit quality any more.

In fact maybe they should just get around a table and vote for which country they like best, o want to trade with/exploit and save the general public from the excitement of thinking there really is a contest in the first place.

...and yes, I am now off to enjoy the rest of my life.

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