Gym

Me and TB went to the gym today. I have been a member since the summer and apart from 1 time (shortly after the induction) I haven't been since.

I don't know why I haven't been cos I always kind of wanted to. Maybe because I had to go with DH & DS and I don't really want to go with them and have it like some family sweat time. DH is kind of competitive and even though he isn't competing with me, just trying to encourage me, it just gets on my tits when someone is like "how many reps did you do? WOW that's AMAZING!!! Well done". Saying that to me is like wrong. I know I shouldn't, but I feel patronised and belittled as if I just accomplished the impossible.

He would hate that I felt that way, but I just do. I don't really wanna be there with him all sweaty and getting down to it and me just loping along on the treadmill without my breathing even changing. I feel like its a competition, even though it's not, and it's a competition I can't win and the whole thing just gets messed up in my head.

Going with DS is OK, but again he gets on my nerves cos he is always either complaining or "look I can go10km per hour on one leg" or something, and it's not like I am competing with my own son, but it makes me feel small inside and stupid and fat and ugly.

So I have been trying to cajole TB into going, and she finally caved on Wednesday. I booked her induction for this morning and did my workout whilst she was shown the ropes with the instructor. I did 30 mins on the treadmill which was about 1 and a half km and 150 cals apparently. I then had a game of Fish on the rowing machine where you have to pull harder and to get your fish out of the way of the big sharks, but also vary the speed and pace to eat the 'good' fish to gain points. It takes 5 minutes and goes really fast because you are playing a game. Then I played darts, where the rowing machine is timed over 5 of your strokes to aim darts at a dart board. It helps you keep your posture and even rowing pace but gets a bit boring. Took 5 minutes to throw 100 darts and I still had 300 darts left so I though fuck it and stopped.

Then I had a go on that wobbly tooth tickling machine called PowerPlate and gave myself some massages on full power for a minute a pop. Then I sat on one of the leg press things and had a nice rest whilst TB finished off.

We then went to get a coffee in the club house and went back to hers for some lunch. She LOVED it. I loved going with her cos we are both wanting to lose weight and we work well as a team. It will inspire us both and I think I have kind of missed the regular get togethers we used to have for slimmingworld and the like.

So all in all a good day so far.